


My End and My Beginning

by InterstellarBlue (nagi_schwarz)



Category: Monsta X (Band), Stargate - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Stealth Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 10:04:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/InterstellarBlue
Summary: After Son Hyunwoo's military career is cut short, he heads back to university and falls in with a group of six other young men - and falls in love with one of them. Featuring crafty boys, cameos from K-dramas, a bit of angst, and a lot of fluff.Inspired by that summer GQ photoshoot and boys infuzzy sweaters.





	My End and My Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SherlockianSyndromes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockianSyndromes/gifts).



Hyunwoo had never intended to go to university. He’d joined the military and never looked back. He’d just looked forward, to outer space, to moons and stars, to the Pegasus Galaxy. And then he’d ended up captured by the Wraith. Tortured. Rescued.

He’d sat in the infirmary at the SGC for months, doing his rehab, wondering what he’d do with his life now that his military career was over. He’d never run again. And he would never dance again, which had been his second dream.

He’d been surprised that people like Colonel Mitchell and Dr. Jackson had come to visit him. It was Colonel Mitchell who’d taught him how to knit so he wouldn’t be bored - and so he wouldn’t dwell too much on the awful memories. It was Dr. Jackson who’d encouraged him to go back to school and pursue languages and anthropology so he could still work for the SGC in the future. He could be gate-rated again.

So now Hyunwoo was living in a tiny study dorm in Seoul, studying at university and trying to remember how to be a civilian. He worked part-time at a convenience store, he studied hard, visited his parents whenever he could, and felt terribly alone. He missed his gate team, who’d been like his family, and only received emails from them every two weeks, if that. He went to physical therapy at the hospital - he could walk without a limp now - and he spent the rest of his time in his dorm, knitting.

It wasn’t until he took an art class that he made any friends. An art education major named Minhyuk had the easel beside his and had admired his sweater one day.

“Where did you buy it?”

“I made it myself.”

Minhyuk’s eyes went wide. “Really? It’s so good. Are you in the knitting club?”

“No. I didn’t know there was one,” Hyunwoo said. Drawing was a useful skill for anthropologists, so they could record what cameras couldn’t capture. Hyunwoo had chosen all his classes with his goal of being back on a gate team as soon as possible.

Minhyuk was a far superior artist, almost as good as Colonel Lorne. “We meet a couple times a week. You can come to whichever night suits you.”

“You knit?” Hyunwoo asked.

“No, but the girls let me in anyway. I make lace.” Minhyuk preened a little, his hand moving rapidly over the page. What he was drawing looked far more like a vase than anything Hyunwoo was drawing.

Hyunwoo glanced at him. “Are you the only boy?”

Minhyuk grinned. “I won’t be if you come along.”

Hyunwoo went along, because otherwise he’d be alone in his dorm knitting and trying to catch up on missed dramas. He wore his nicest sweater he’d made, and the others - all girls save Minhyuk - welcomed him warmly.

As it turned out, Hyunwoo was comparatively an experienced knitter, so he could help some of the newer girls with technique, and he could also learn from people like Euntak, who’d been knitting since they were young children. 

The knitting club was pleasant - they often had dinner out together, or people brought homemade snacks to share, and then they’d gather in one of the student lounges and work on their projects.

Hyunwoo didn’t mind that he and Minhyuk were the only boys, although Minhyuk fit in with the girls much better. As it turned out, Minhyuk could make several kinds of lace, which he sold in an online Etsy store - custom chokers, collars, bracelets, earrings, hair decorations, baby bonnets and booties, lace-edged handkerchiefs, and more.

“You’re so good at knitting - you could totally sell your stuff,” Minhyuk said. “I’d even share shop space with you if you want, help you get started.”

Hyunwoo peered at Minhyuk’s phone where his Etsy shop was on display. “You have so many sales. How?”

“Well, I make pretty high-quality lace.”

Jinah said, “It’s his models.”

“That too,” Minhyuk admitted.

“Models?” Hyunwoo asked. All of the pictures were sort of - anonymous. Throats and wrists and close-ups of lace in hair. 

Minhyuk tapped on a black lacy choker to pull up the listing and swiped to the next picture - of a very attractive boy, who was wearing the choker and gazing dreamily at the camera. Something about him was familiar.

“His name is Chae Hyungwon,” Minhyuk said. 

“Minhyuk never introduces him to us,” Raim said, pouting.

“Is he a supermodel?” He certainly looked like one to Hyunwoo.

Minhyuk laughed. “No, he’s a linguistics and hospitality major. He’s going to take over his parents’ travel agency.”

“I think I have a class with him,” Hyunwoo said. That was why he looked familiar.

Sobong batted her eyelashes at him. “Will you introduce us to him?”

“I don’t know him well,” Hyunwoo hedged. He nudged Minhyuk. “So Hyungwon models the lace and you take the pictures?”

“No, I use Yoo Kihyun. He’s a photography major. He uses pictures of Hyungwon and Im Changkyun and Lee Jooheon in my lace for his class projects, or sometimes just my lace and tools. It’s free advertising for both of us.” Minhyuk tapped a this phone, showed Hyunwoo the online gallery for YKH Photography.

In addition to Minhyuk’s lace, he did weddings and graduations.

“Want me to ask Kihyun, see if he knows any visuals who’d look good in your sweaters?” Minhyuk asked.

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure his sweaters were worth selling, but since he couldn’t really keep all of the ones he made, he might as well try to earn some extra money with his skills. “All right.”

*

After class one Thursday evening, Hyunwoo was headed for the convenience store for his shift when Minhyuk popped up beside him - with four other boys in tow.

“Hey, Hyunwoo-hyung, meet my photographer Yoo Kihyun, and our models Im Changkyun, Lee Jooheon, and Chae Hyungwon.”

Introductions were made, names and ages, classes and majors, and then Kihyun tugged lightly at Hyunwoo’s sleeve.

“Did you make this?”

“Yes.”

Kihyun made humming noises, the kind doctors did when they were thinking, and finally he said, “Take it off.”

Hyunwoo was startled, but Minhyuk nodded encouragingly, so Hyunwoo wriggled out of his sweater, and Kihyun had each of his models try it on. Hyungwon and Changkyun were both slender and narrow in the shoulders compared to Hyunwoo, who still worked out like he was in the Air Force best as he could, and both of them looked like they were drowning. Jooheon was bulkier, so he looked marginally better.

“Is this the only hand-knitted sweater you have?” Kihyun patted Jooheon’s shoulder absently, straightening the sweater’s collar so it lay neater on him.

“I have two more,” Hyunwoo said.

Kihyun made more critical humming sounds. “Let me borrow them, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“All right,” Hyunwoo said, a little helplessly. He was a bit overwhelmed and confused but also excited.

And that was how he ended up cooking burritos and hosting an impromptu fashion show in his tiny study dorm. He surrendered all his hand-knitted gear to Kihyun - hats and scarves and gloves in addition to sweaters. Kihyun had Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Changkyun model various items.

“When you post them for sale, don’t forget to list which patterns you used. It’s Etsy etiquette,” Minhyuk said. He was sitting at the low table Hyunwoo had made out of two stacks of textbooks and a piece of wood. “These burritos are delicious. Have you been to Mexico?”

“Ah, no. Some of the people I was stationed with were from Mexico.”

Minhyuk’s eyes lit. “You already did your service?”

Hyunwoo nodded.

“Me too. Also Kihyun. Wanted to get it done before school so it didn’t interrupt a career.”

“Remind me again how old you are?” Jooheon said, since he wasn’t being photographed right that second.

Hyunwoo told him.

“And you’re only a freshman?” Hyungwon asked.

Hyunwoo nodded.

“What did you do before the Army?” Minhyuk asked.

“I was in the Air Force. It was going to be my career, but then I was injured, so - university.” Hyunwoon smiled tightly.

Kihyun’s eyes went wide. “Did you see real combat? I was an office clerk for a high-ranking officer.”

“Yes,” Hyunwoo said, and didn’t want to say more.

“Where?”

“I’m not allowed to talk about it,” Hyunwoo said apologetically, which always made his father look knowing and his mother look sad.

It was Changkyun who asked, between the shutter clicks of Kihyun’s fancy camera, “Do you have any cool scars?”

Kihyun clicked his tongue. “Don’t be rude. And look sexy.”

“I’m embarrassed by the scars,” Hyunwoo said quietly. “They frightened my mother.”

“If you can’t tell anyone what happened, make up an interesting story.” Minhyuk waved his chopsticks emphatically.

Jooheon jabbed a finger in Minhyuk’s direction. “You be careful of him. He’s sneaky.”

Minhyuk’s response was a very sweet smile. 

Kihyun finished with the photos, and he brought his camera over for Minhyuk and Hyunwoo to look at, get their opinion.

“They look like perfect boyfriend shots,” Minhyuk said. “Girls will want to buy those for their boyfriends. Bonus if you make some matching girl sweaters. Make some hats and scarves and gloves to match too, post the pictures plus references to the patterns, and you should be good to go. Always give yourself a three-day window on making custom orders. Get paid up front.”

Hyunwoo nodded, taking notes on his phone diligently. There was so much to think about. Was this really a good idea, on top of his studies?

Minhyuk patted him on the hand. “Don’t worry - I’ll help you.”

“Thank you.” Hyunwoo bowed politely.

“Where do you get your patterns?” Hyungwon asked, petting one of the scarves. “My sister knits.”

“I made them up,” Hyunwoo said.

Minhyuk’s eyes lit up. “That’s brilliant! If you turn your patterns into PDFs, you can start selling those now and charge way more to make the sweaters yourself.”

“You should be a business major,” Changkyun said to him.

Minhyuk pawed at Hyunwoo’s arm. “You really should make girl versions of each sweater, so people can use them as couples’ outfits. I know some girls who can model - plenty of the girls at knitting club are pretty.”

“You never introduce us to them,” Hyungwon protested.

“He’s sneaky,” Jooheon said again.

“But I’m good at what I do.” Minhyuk showed Hyunwoo his phone, which had the Instagram feed for his Etsy shop. It had a picture of Jooheon, wearing Hyunwoo’s knitted cap, pouting at Kihyun’s camera. The caption read  _ Coming soon: Hyunwoo’s Knits. _

“See? Already ten likes. I just posted it.”

Jooheon patted Hyunwoo on the back. “Better get knitting.”

Which Hyunwoo did. In every spare moment. First just the hats and mitts and gloves and scarves, so people could stay warm in winter and fall. He knitted between classes, on his lunch break, during his study breaks, during his work breaks.

The good thing about knitting was that it kept Hyunwoo busy enough that he didn’t end up mired in his own fractured, horrifying memories. But he still had to sleep, and when he slept, he dreamed.

*

After the third night in a row of miserable nightmares, Hyunwoo was too frustrated to even try knitting himself back to calmness, so he grabbed his gym bag, threw in clean clothes for the day, scooped up his backpack, and headed for the on-campus gym.

He did weights, but the memories were still snapping at his heels, so he swam till he was exhausted. Because he was at the gym at 0400, hardly anyone else was there, mostly the really ambitious gym guys, so he had no trouble accessing equipment he wanted. 

Once he was too tired to think of anything else, he hit the showers. He scrubbed down as fast as he could, went to pull on clean clothes, and sighed. He’d only brought shorts. Working out in shorts was one thing, but wearing them around campus was something else. In the gym, no one stared at his scars because they were absorbed in their own workouts, but on campus - 

Did he have enough time to get back to his dorm and change?

Hyunwoo glanced at his watch. Not if he wanted to get to his first class on time.

He sighed and buried his face in his hands.

And then another boy said, “Not to intrude, but are you all right?”

Hyunwoo looked up.

The boy standing over him was tall, broad-shouldered, muscular, but with a pretty, youthful face. Familiar. Hyunwoo had seen him lifting weights in the gym before. He was impressively strong.

“Ah, yes, I’m fine, thank you.” Hyunwoo had barely enough time to put on his clean clothes and get to class.

The boy glanced down at the rough scars on Hyunwoo’s knees, some from the injuries, some from the surgeries to repair them. “You’re about my size. I have some jeans you can borrow.”

Embarrassment curled through Hyunwoo.

The other boy lifted the hem of his shirt and revealed a nasty-looking burn scar on his hip. “It’s from my service.” There was understanding in his eyes.

“Mine too,” Hyunwoo said.

The boy dug around in his gym bag, handed Hyunwoo a pair of jeans. “I’m Shin Hoseok, by the way.”

“Son Hyunwoo. Thank you.” He bowed politely, accepted the jeans. “Ah - what’s your phone number? So I can return them after I wash them.”

“Hand me your phone?”

Hoseok typed his contact information into Hyunwoo’s phone while he pulled on the jeans.

“Good luck in classes today,” Hoseok said, and handed back the phone.

“You too. I’ll return these as soon as I can,” Hyunwoo promised.

Hoseok looked him up and down. “What year were you born?”

“1992. And you?”

“1993. I served until last year. I’m only a sophomore.”

“I’m only a freshman.”

“What are you studying?”

“Language and anthropology. What about you?”

Hoseok smiled. “Music.”

Hyunwoo bowed. “I wish you the best with your music. I must go to class now.”

Hoseok bowed in return. Hyunwoo stashed his gym bag in a locker and headed for his first class. 

Minhyuk caught up to him on his lunch break, where he was knitting in a corner of the student cafe.

“Kihyun put an ad on the student forum for a new model. Six responses already. We’ll do auditions once we have twelve or at the end of the week, whichever comes first.” Minhyuk waggled his phone at Hyunwoo a little too fast for him to see the ad properly. “How are your patterns coming along?”

“Sobong and Raim helped me write them down at the last meeting. I have them typed up.”

“Make sure not to turn them into PDFs until we can insert pictures of the models,” Minhyuk said.

Hyunwoo nodded, making another note on his phone, then eyed Minhyuk sidelong. “How do you get anything else done?”

“Coffee. Lots of coffee.”

*

The beautiful thing about having worked at the SGC was that it was an international expedition, so Hyunwoo could practice the languages he was learning with native speakers via email. Dr. Esposito helped him with Spanish. Dr. Kusanagi helped him with Japanese. Dr. Jackson helped him with general language theory.

Because Hyunwoo was no longer with the Program, he no longer had secure email, so all their conversations were innocuous, casual, full of editing and elisions. It was Major Satterfield, his former gate team CO, who was any help for other things. Like the dreams and memories. She’d been adopted from Korea as a child, learned Korean in an attempt to connect to her heritage. She would send him long emails in half Korean, half English, telling him how his teammates were doing, making sure he was all right.

He was mostly all right. If only he could get a good night’s sleep. For the most part, knitting helped. Keeping himself busy with school and work and this new knitting venture kept his mind off of...things. And when that wasn’t enough there was extra workouts at the gym and pool.

He saw Hoseok again two days later, lifting weights at the gym.

“I’m sorry I haven’t returned your jeans yet. With my budget, I can only do laundry once a week.”

Hoseok, gleaming with sweat, grinned. “I get it. They’re only my favorite jeans.”

“On no!  I -”

Hoseok laughed. “I’m joking. Whenever is fine. Although I might need some kind of guarantee from you.”

“Anything,” Hyunwoo said, because Hoseok had saved him from grave embarrassment. 

Hoseok said, “I’ll have to think about it. Give me your number, so I can tell you once I decide.”

Hyunwoo nodded, grateful and relieved. “Of course.” He texted Hoseok his number, and then Hyunwoo headed off to class.

He was sure Hoseok wouldn’t ask for anything humiliating. As if Hyunwoo had never been subject to some level of humiliation and hazing by Marines.

By Friday night, twelve boys had signed up to audition as models for Hyunwoo’s Knits. Hyungwon, with his long slender neck, was the official face of Lace by Minhyuk. Even though he, Jooheon, and Changkyun were more than willing to model items like hats, gloves, and scarves for Hyunwoo, Minhyuk was insistent and Kihyun agreed. For branding purposes, they needed a new model to be the face of Hyunwoo’s Knits.

Hyunwoo put the audition - supposed to last for two hours - in his calendar for Saturday night. He wouldn’t be working at the convenience store, and all his homework would be done. He was starting to get used to spending his free time with Minhyuk and his friends (always with knitting in hand).

He was startled when he received a text from Hoseok.

_ How are you at cooking ramyeun? _

Of Minhyuk’s friends, it was universally agreed that Kihyun was the best cook, but Hyunwoo was better at making foreign food.

_ I’m pretty good, _ Hyunwoo texted back, because Nurse Cho on Atlantis had taught him.

_ Make me ramyeun on Saturday night, _ Hoseok sent almost immediately.

_ What time? _

Minhyuk wanted to hold auditions after dinner.

_ Five. I have somewhere to be at eight. _

_ Perfect. Me too. _

Hoseok sent a smiley emoji, then,  _ What’s your address? _

Even though Hyunwoo had cooked Korean food for his old teammates and also sometimes for Minhyuk and the gang, he’d never cooked for just one person like this. He wanted to do well, because Hoseok had done him a huge favor.

He called his mother on Friday to get her best recipe and some tips.

“Sounds like you want to impress,” Eomma said.

“This sunbaenim was very kind to me,” Hyunwoo explained. Cooking himself would be cheaper and healthier than eating out anyway.

“I’m pleased I raised such an honorable and grateful son. Good luck.”

*

At precisely five on Saturday evening, there was a knock on Hyunwoo’s door. He answered it, ushered Hoseok in. Hoseok removed his shoes at the door, toed on the slippers Hyunwoo had left out for him (he had so many more slippers now, on account of having so many more friends now).

“Sorry it’s so small,” Hyunwoo said. He always rolled up his bed and put it away during the day so he had room. He’d cleaned very thoroughly so his room looked nice. He used his old SGA footlocker as a desk and dining table for the two of them.

Hoseok looked around. “It’s very clean.” He sniffed the air. “Smells delicious.”

Hyunwoo served up two bowls of ramyeun from the cooking pot on his little camp stove, handed one to Hoseok first. He smiled tentatively. “I hope you eat well.” He sat opposite Hoseok at the little makeshift table.

“Thank you.” Hoseok accepted the bowl, inhaled the steam deeply, smiled, picked up his chopsticks.

Hyunwoo waited till Hoseok took his first bite before he started in on his own bowl. It tasted almost exactly like his mother’s homemade ramyeun. That was a good sign.

Hoseok’s face lit up. “This is delicious.”

Relief sparked in Hyunwoo’s veins. “I’m glad.” He’d splurged for a bottle of soju each. “I’m sorry I can’t drink much. I have an appointment later tonight.”

“As do I,” Hoseok said. “So, language and anthropology. Unusual choices. A lot of work.”

“There’s a special program I want to work in overseas, and it requires unusual training,” Hyunwoo said. Talking around his time at the SGC was always fraught with tension. Time to redirect. “What kind of music do you like? Do you play an instrument, or are you a singer?”

“I play piano, sing, and dance,” Hoseok said. “I love taekwondo, and I wanted to be a fighter, but my mother doesn’t want to see me hurt, and I’m the oldest son, so - music.”

“So talented - like an idol.” Hyunwoo smiled. He was a decent enough singer, a better dancer.

“My parents didn’t have money to keep me in idol training after high school, so I did my service.” Hoseok shrugged. “What languages do you speak? I learned Japanese and French besides English in school.”

“When I did my service, I was with mostly Americans, so mostly English, but I am currently learning Japanese and Spanish. When I did my service I did learn to swear in French and Czech,” Hyunwoo offered.

Hoseok laughed. “Those are always the first words you learn.” He continued eating. “This ramyeun is so delicious. You’re a very good cook. Did your mother teach you?”

“This is my mother’s recipe, but actually my CO taught me. He was basically a chef in his spare time. I’m glad you like it.” Hyunwoo inclined his head politely.

“Sounds like your service was more interesting than mine,” Hoseok said. He pressed a hand to his side absently, where his scar was.

“You know the Chinese curse - may you live in interesting times.” Hyunwoo rubbed one of his knees. “So, do you write your own music?”

“Some,” Hoseok said. “I’m still learning.” He nibbled on some noodles, then said, “You can listen to one of the songs I wrote sometime, if you want.”

He seemed very shy all of a sudden.

Hyunwoo nodded encouragingly. “I would like that very much.”

They finished their meal, talking quietly about their families - siblings, parents - and Hyunwoo cleared away the dishes. Then he fetched the clean and folded jeans and offered them back to Hoseok.

“Thank you so much for helping me that day, when we were basically strangers.” Hyunwoo bowed and handed them back.

Hoseok accepted them, tucked them into his book bag. “You’re welcome. I think, after his delicious meal, we are closer now, yes?”

Hyunwoo nodded. Then he checked his watch. “My appointment is across campus, so I had better get to walking if I want to make it.”

“I’ll walk with you. I have to walk as well,” Hoseok said.

They put on their shoes and jackets and left the dorm. As they walked, they talked about their fitness routines and preferences. Hoseok enjoyed lifting weights, and his preferred cardio was running or hip-hop dancing. Hyunwoo had learned to do weights while he was in rehab, but he preferred military-style calisthenics for the most part. His preferred cardio was swimming.

“Hardly anyone is in the gym as early as we are,” Hoseok said. “We should spot for each other.”

“We should,” Hyunwoo agreed.

They reached the student center, where Minyuk and Kihyun had reserved one of the dance studios to use as a photography studio.

“Well, this is me,” Hyunwoo said.

Hoseok blinked at him, then pointed to the studio door. “You? Me too.” He looked Hyunwoo up and down. “Ah - you are very handsome. You’d make a good model.”

“Model?” Hyunwoo echoed.

“It’s a shame only one of us can get the job,” Hoseok said. “I must warn you - I was very popular during my ulzzang days.”

Before Hyunwoo could wrap his head around the fact that Hoseok was auditioning to model his sweaters, the studio door opened and Minhyuk beamed at them.

“Hoseoki-hyung! You made it. C’mon in. Hyunwoo, go talk to Kihyun.” Minhyuk tugged both of them into the room.

Kihyun pounced on Hyunwoo. “Did you bring everything I asked?”

Hyunwoo nodded and surrendered his book bag, which was stuffed full of sweaters, scarves, hats, gloves, and mittens, fresh-knitted from the patterns he planned on selling.

“It’s more efficient to have a single model for everything, but few people have pretty hands and a long neck like Hyungwon, so he might be good for gloves and scarves and we’ll have a second person for hats and sweaters.” Kihyun pawed through the knitted items and came up with a soft, fine-knit white fuzzy sweater. “I like this. We’ll test everyone with this.”

With that, Kihyun bustled over to where Minhyuk was speaking to the twelve boys - including Hoseok - and giving them instructions. If they couldn’t do their own makeup, Minhyuk could do it for them. If they earned the job, they’d be paid a flat fee for each photo shoot.

Hoseok cast Hyunwoo several puzzled looks. Hyunwoo offered up an apologetic shrug, but then Kihyun was asking him about the knitting pattern, which parts of the sweater were important to show off (collar, under the sleeves, cuffs).

As it turned out, once the picture-taking began, Hyunwoo’s opinion wasn’t needed, so he was shuffled aside to help Minhyuk make up the models, mostly by holding brushes and pots.

Hoseok could do his own make-up, from his ulzzang days. Hyunwoo was trying to juggle several different pots of powder when he ended up behind one of the other models while Minhyuk worked on him. While Minhyuk was painting the  boy, he chatted to Hoseok, asked how his classes were going, how taekwondo training was going, had he met the ultimate ramyeun cook yet? Besides Kihyun.

How long had Hoseok and Minhyuk known each other? For a while, judging by the way they didn’t use formalities around each other. Then Minhyuk asked about their old platoon-mates, and Hyunwoo understood - they’d done their service together, if only for a while.

It was finally Hoseok’s turn. Minhyuk patted him on the shoulder and said, “Fighting!”

The truth was, every single one of the models was a visual, and Hyunwoo was surprised they weren’t supermodels already. How would Kihyun choose? Hoseok was incredibly handsome, and he seemed to know how to pose for the camera. Would Kihyun choose him? If Hyunwoo said he liked how Hoseok looked, would that help?

Because Hyunwoo wanted Hoseok to get the job. And not just because Hoseok was nice to him.

It was eleven by the time Kihyun had photographed every one of the applicants. He thanked them all and sent them on their way with promises to contact them. It was another hour before they were finished cleaning up. Hyunwoo had waved farewell to Hoseok as he left, but they didn’t manage to speak for the entire event.

“Now what?” Hyunwoo asked.

Kihyun said, “I’ll edit the photos and pick the best ones, and tomorrow we can have a slideshow to decide.”

Minhyuk cheered. “Cooking at Hyunwoo’s tomorrow. See you there!”

It was only fair that Hyunwoo cook since everyone else had run the photo shoot tonight. “See you there,” he said.

Only he ended up helping Kihyun carry all his photography equipment to his dorm, and when he finally tumbled into bed, he went right to sleep.

*

For supper the next night, Hyunwoo made chipotle chicken bowls, because he was good at making Mexican food, and it cut down on the number of dishes he had to clean up.

Minhyuk and Kihyun arrived early so Kihyun could set up his laptop and projector for the slideshow. Minhyuk helped Hyunwoo arrange the dining space.

“I didn’t realize last night, but you already know Hoseok?” Minhyuk laid out chopsticks and napkins neatly.

“Some, but we’re not especially close. We work out at the gym at the same time, and once he also helped me.” Hyunwoo checked on the chicken.

Minhyuk sniffed the air appreciatively. “Smells good!” He continued, “Hoseok, Kihyun and I all did our service together. Kihyun was in a different platoon, but we were quite close.”

“I like Hoseoki-hyung,” Kihyun said, “but we will pick the best model based on their looks and talent, not on their connections.”

Jooheon, Hyungwon, and Changkyun arrived right on time. As experienced models, Hyunwoo wanted their input, because they’d seen how the applicants behaved. Also, Hyunwoo had the sense that the five of them were like a gate team, stuck together outside of classes and work, banding together over this thing they did that most boys their age didn’t do.

Hyunwoo served up the food, and while they ate, they talked about how each model had performed, how much makeup he required, how responsive he was to Kihyun’s instructions, how natural he was in front of the camera.

They all seemed to agree that the best was Hoseok because of his experience from his ulzzang days. He could do his own makeup, he was comfortable in front of a camera, and he was responsive to Kihyun’s instructions and advice. He’d be an efficient model, to say the least.

Hyunwoo nodded and listened. Efficient was good. He wouldn’t mind working with Hoseok on a regular basis. He was already imagining what yarns and colors would look good on him.

Once the food was finished, it was time for the slideshow. Minhyuk and Hyungwon moved the table aside, and everyone settled in to watch the slideshow.

“Wow,” Hyunwoo said when the first picture appeared.

Every single one of the models had been handsome, but between Kihyun’s photography, Minhyuk’s makeup, and Kihyun’s editing skills, they were now beautiful.

Kihyun cycled through the pictures fairly rapidly, only pausing for further discussion if someone asked him. After half an hour, they’d narrowed it down to just two models, one of them Hoseok.

“I think Hoseok,” Jooheon said. “He’s so muscular. He looks so good in the sweater. Plus he won’t look too much like a flower boy from a drama if you want to take boyfriend shots with a girl model, right?”

Because the flower boy never got the girl.

“No offense, Hyungwon,” he added.

Hyungwon shrugged. “No, you’re right. Hoseok is so versatile - he can look soft or strong or cute or sexy.”

“Hoseok it is,” Kihyun said.

Minhyuk fished his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll call the others. Kihyun, you call him with the good news.”

It was Changkyun who said, “What does Hyunwoo think? They’re his products.”

Minhyuk and Kihyun turned to him.

“I think Hoseok is best for the job,” Hyunwoo said quickly.

Kihyun and Minhyuk beamed at each other, then set about making phone calls. Minhyuk stepped into the hallway to make his calls.

Kihyun said, “The next time we watch a movie together, Hoseok should come. So you can measure him. We can take some preliminary photos for the hats and gloves and scarves, but the sweaters should be made for him. You can do that, right?”

Hyunwoo nodded, a little dazed and overwhelmed. 

He had trouble falling asleep that night long after the others left, long after he finished cleaning up. So much going on - school, work, knitting club, and now this. Knitting extra and spending time with Hoseok.

*

Only spending lots of time with Hoseok and the others was easy. He and Hoseok met at the gym three times a week and spotted for each other. Every night after work they gathered at someone’s dorm, made a meal together, and studied. Once Hyunwoo and Minhyuk finished their studies, they set about making, either at Knitting Club or till the others finished. Once everyone was finished, they’d turn on someone’s laptop and watch an episode of a drama or anime or a movie.

As Minhyuk and Hyunwoo had their models to hand, they could measure and fit as needed. Hyungwon was always the first to fall asleep, usually on someone else’s shoulder.

One night, the last ones awake were Hyunwoo and Hoseok, watching the credits roll on some historical drama that Jooheon had chosen.

“Hyungwon can never fall asleep on you because you’re always moving,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “I can’t just watch TV. I have to be doing something.”

Hoseok said, “You need to relax more. The world won’t end if you take a break.” He kept his voice low so as not to wake the others.

“I know,” Hyunwoo said, but unlike any of the others, he couldn’t forget what was out there in the wider universe, and he was working to get back there.

Hoseok reached out, ruffled the sleeve Hyunwoo was working on. “It’s so soft.”

“I figure if someone wears it, they should like how it feels.” His heart was thumping oddly, because Hoseok’s hand was also on his knee.

“I wouldn’t mind wearing it.”

“Good, because I’m making it to fit you.” Hyunwoo kept his voice equally low.

Hoseok smiled. “I like that.”

“Well,” Hyunwoo said, “I’m making everything for you, so you’ll be warm this winter.”

“Don’t you already have everything made for you?” Hoseok asked.

“Yes, but you’re the model, not me.”

“No one’s ever made sweaters for me before.” Hoseok rubbed the sleeve again. “And who knows - maybe some days we’ll match.”

“I might have to lend my sweaters to whichever girl poses with you for couples outfits. Just for the auditions. Then I’ll have to make girl sizes for her.”

Hoseok made a face. “Couples’ outfits?”

“Minhyuk and Kihyun have big plans.”

“They always have big plans.” Hoseok rolled his eyes. “Auditions for girls?”

“I think we’ll start with the girls in Knitting Club,” Hyunwoo said.

“Do you mind knitting girl sweaters?”

“It’s never too late to learn something new.”

Hoseok nodded. Then he said, “Could you teach me how to knit?”

“Come to Knitting Club,” Minhyuk said. “You could learn in one night.”

Something in Hyunwoo’s chest tightened at the thought of Sobong and Raim and Jiah and Euntak crowded around Hoseok and holding his hands and -

“I can teach you how to knit. Any time,” Hyunwoo said.

And then he realized. Minhyuk was awake. The others stirred as well. It was time for everyone to go home and go to bed.

Hoseok and Hyunwoo walked back to the dorms together, bade each other farewell beneath a flickering street lamp before Hoseok set off into the shadows and Hyunwoo pretended not to watch him go.

Hyunwoo lay in the darkness of his dorm room and dreaded girl model auditions.

To put them out of his head, he knitted fiercely, in every spare moment, and by the end of the week, he’d finished it. Hoseok’s first sweater.

He texted Hoseok and invited him over for a final fitting. He even made ramyeun.

Hoseok arrived at Hyunwoo’s dorm after his shift at the dojang, teaching taekwondo to little kids. He plopped down at Hyunwoo’s makeshift table, exhausted. 

“So, let’s see the sweater?”

Hoseok handed him a steaming bowl of ramyeun. “Eat first. I know you didn’t get to eat before teaching class.”

Hoseok accepted the bowl with a happy moan. “You’re better than a wife.”

Hyunwoo’s heart thumped oddly in his chest again. He sat opposite Hoseok with a bowl of his own. “I appreciate everything you do for me.”

“Not nearly as much as you do for me.” Hoseok dug into his ramyeun eagerly.

They ate in companionable silence. Because both of them were hungry, they finished fast. Hoseok sat back with a happy sigh, patting his full belly. No wonder Eomma was always happy when Hyunwoo had eaten well.

“Ah - I mustn’t forget why I’m here. The sweater?” Hoseok straightened up.

Hyunwoo fetched the sweater from his project bag, handed it to Hoseok. Hoseok peeled off his jacket and t-shirt.

“My shirt smells bad,” he explained.

Hyunwoo’s heart beat faster, and he did his best not to stare at Hoseok’s very muscular chest, his pale skin.

Hoseok pulled the sweater on, smoothed it down, and Hyunwoo’s heart skipped a beat. He was beautiful.

Hoseok smoothed a hand over the soft, delicate white yarn. “It feels so good.” He stretched and reached and twisted, experimenting with his range of motion. “It fits perfectly. I like it. What do you think?”

“It does fit well,” Hyunwoo finally managed.

Hoseok posed and affected a pout. “Do I look like a boyfriend? Would you want your boyfriend to wear this sweater?”

I want you to be my boyfriend, Hyunwoo realized, with something akin to elation and horror.

“If you were a girl, I mean,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo’s heart plummeted into his shoes.  _ But I’m not a girl. _

Hoseok fished his phone out of his pocket. “Let me take some boyfriend shots. We can send them to Kihyun and Minhyuk. And we should celebrate our first success as a team! You made something that really fits me.”

Before Hyunwoo knew what was what, Hoseok was hanging onto him from behind and directing him to hold the phone for the perfect team selfie. Then Hoseok was pouting and winking at his own phone solo, and seconds later Hyunwoo received of incoming texts with the pictures.

And more texts as Minhyuk and Kihyun weighed in. 

First sweater was a success. Photo shoot time.

*

The photo shoot was early in the morning on a lawn on campus. Hyungwon had brought hot coffee so Hoseok’s breath wouldn’t be steamy on camera - he really was an experienced model. Jooheon and Changkyun helped Kihyun wrangle highlights, and of course Minhyuk was helping Hoseok with his makeup and hair.

Kihyun was trying to kill Hyunwoo, because he had Hoseok take off and put on the sweater over and over again, snapped pictures of Hoseok’s bare torso.

“It’s cold,” Hoseok protested.

Minhyuk said, “You look sexy. It’s great.”

Finally Hoseok was allowed to wear the sweater fully for some more pictures.

Kihyun asked, “Hyunwoo, remind me again what parts of the sweater are important? To show the quality.”

“Collar, cuffs, hem, under the arm,” Hyunwoo said, because the details mattered, and those spots were usually evidence of an experienced versus inexperienced knitter. There were ways to avoid ugly seams and gaps and holes, different techniques, and Hyunwoo had suffered through many holey sweaters before he’d perfect his technique, and he was pretty proud of it.

“Under the arm?” Minhyuk asked.

Hoseok stretched his arms over his head, affected a sleepy-sexy pout. Kihyun snapped away.

“If you knit that part wrong, there’s a hole,” Hyunwoo said.

“Mmmm.” Minhyuk nodded, smiled. “If you’re going to custom-make this sweater for people, you should have some instructions for what measurements they need to send to you.” 

He poked around in his book bag, which also contained one of his many project bags, and came up with a tape measure. He called out to Kihyun, reminded him about a measurement guide, and Kihyun nodded, responded absently. He was taking close-ups of the neckline of the sweater - and Hoseok’s pretty collarbones.

It was Hyungwon who said, gently, “This first shoot will take the longest, because Hoseok and Kihyun are getting used to each other, and Kihyun is photographing knitting for the first time, plus you need a custom measuring guide. Subsequent shoots will be shorter. And hopefully indoors.” He shivered, blew on his hands.

“All right, what measurements do you need?” Kihyun asked.

Hyunwoo demonstrated - chest, around the shoulder, shoulder to wrist, around the wrist, collar to shoulder, collar to hips or waist for desired length. He had to get the tape measure in place, hand it off to Hoseok, and then get it out of the way so Kihyun could take the picture.

By the time they finished, it was time for them to head to their morning classes. Luckily for Kihyun, it was his photo editing class.

“As soon as these are done, I’ll send them to you and you can add them to the pattern,” Kihyun said while he, Hyungwon, Jooheon, and Changkyun packed up his photography equipment.

Hoseok glanced at his watch. “I’d better go. I’ll give this back later, Hyunwoo.”

“Keep it. It doesn’t fit me, remember?” Hyunwoo called after him.

Hoseok grinned. “That’s right. I’ll treasure it forever. My first homemade sweater.” He smoothed a hand down the fuzzy white knitted fabric, then turned and headed for class.

*

Minhyuk caught Hyunwoo at lunch, along with Kihyun, who handed him a flash drive and with the edited pictures on it.

“We made the right choice with Hoseok,” Kihyun said. “The photos look amazing.”

Minhyuk waggled his phone at Hyunwoo. “I posted a teaser for your first official boyfriend sweater. A hundred likes already.”

It was one of the pictures of Hoseok taking off the sweater.

Hyunwoo swallowed hard. “That’s good.”

“Tonight at Knitting Club, bring your laptop and we can finish the pattern together.” Minhyuk smiled, pleased.

Hyunwoo had never bothered with social media, because it wasn’t like his phone worked on Atlantis, and even if it had, he couldn’t exactly post to Instagram and Twitter about his highly classified missions.

He’d made an Instagram account at his mother’s urging, so she could see how he was doing, and ever since he’d started hanging out with Minhyuk and the others, there were a lot of pictures of him on Instagram, if only because Kihyun took pictures every time they hung out and Minhyuk tagged everyone.

Hyunwoo followed the accounts for several of his relatives and of course all of his new friends, including the ones in Knitting Club, and also Kihyun’s official photography account Minhyuk’s official Etsy account.

He spent an embarrassing about of time staring at that picture of Hoseok on Minhyuk’s Etsy account. If anyone asked, he was looking at the increasing number of likes and comments on the photo, inquiries about the patten. But really he was looking at Hoseok.

He was doomed.

Still, he brought his laptop to Knitting Club, and Minhyuk offered him suggestions about the best way to include the photos in the pattern, not just where to position the photos but which ones to put here.

“See, this is the collar, so place it here, near instructions for the collar,” Minhyuk said. “Sometimes you’ll need to add photos to your reports for professors, so this is good practice.”

Hyunwoo obeyed. Per Minhyuk’s instructions, he was sitting with his laptop angled away from the others so they wouldn’t see any spoilers.

“Hyunwoo,” Euntak said, “it looks like you’re using a new model. He’s very handsome.”

Sobong chimed in. “Will you be nicer than Minhyuk and introduce us to him?”

Hyunwoo, carefully arranging that photo of Hoseok’s collarbone, said, “If the boyfriend sweater is successful, I’ll make a girlfriend sweater, and one of you can be the model.”

Raim lit up. “Really?”

“No spoilers,” Minhyuk scolded.

“Which one of us?” Euntak asked.

Sobong said, “I suppose it’ll depend on who looks best with the model.”

Yoonjoo eyed Hyunwoo. “What’s the model’s name?”

“Shin Hoseok.”

Raim raised her eyebrows, looked at Minhyuk. “You mean - your friend from service?”

Minhyuk nodded. “Yes.”

The girls went quiet.

It was Euntak who said, “I hope Kihyun picks me. Shin Hoseok is very handsome.”

Minhyuk’s expression was unreadable. “Come on,” he said to Hyunwoo. “Let’s get this pattern finished.”

The rest of Knitting Club was awkwardly quiet. The tension was thick, like being stuck in the same room as people who were arguing but all of them unable to leave. Hyunwoo wished he could find an excuse to leave.

But he finished the pattern layout, and Minhyuk approved, showed him how to turn it into a PDF.

“Tomorrow we can decide what the Etsy listing looks like,” Minhyuk said. “Come on.”

Hyunwoo and Minhyuk bade the girls good night, and then they started walking back to the dorms.

“Did I say something wrong?” Hyunwoo asked.

“Before service, back during his ulzzang days, Hoseok dated this girl,” Minhyuk said.

Hyunwoo’s heart sank. “Oh. It isn’t one of the girls in Knitting Club, is it?”

“No. She’s a man now. Transgender. Made the change while we were doing our service,” Minhyuk said. “It was all over the news.”

“Ah,” Hyunwoo said, a little helplessly, because he hadn’t seen the news on a regular basis once he was assigned to the SGC.

“After that, people started to wonder if Hoseok is gay. It was difficult for him, in the Army. He stayed on after Kihyun and I left, just to prove himself.” Minhyuk’s expression was solemn. “A lot of girls won’t talk to him, once they learn his name, because his ex - he was pretty free with naming Hoseok as his most recent dating partner, even though his ulzzang name was Wonho.”

Hyunwoo said, “I don’t care about that.”

“Neither do I,” Minhyuk said. “None of us do.”

It explained why Hoseok had been so kind, when Hyunwoo was embarrassed about his knee.

Hyunwoo said, “We can look for a model somewhere else.”

“We’ll see.” Minhyuk perked up. “Your pattern will be a great success, though. I just know it.”

“Do you sell your patterns?” Hyunwoo asked.

“Hardly anyone buys them. So few people make lace by hand anymore. It’s cheaper - or easier - to have me make it.” Minhyuk patted Hyunwoo on the shoulder. “See you tomorrow.”

Hyunwoo bade him good night, then continued on to his own dorms. He knew how capricious public opinion could be, how reputation in his home country was a double-edged sword. Being cut off from Earth - and its politics - for four years had done him some good and some bad.

It was terrible and selfish, but Hyunwoo hoped Hoseok was at least bi.

*

The next day, during lunch, Minhyuk showed Hyunwoo how to create an Etsy listing for the pattern. They poked around Etsy, found similar patterns, did some price comparisons, and set prices, one for just the pattern, another for Hyunwoo to create the sweater. Then they selected several pictures of Hoseok modeling the entire sweater, plus some detail shots, and then Hyunwoo uploaded the PDF so it’d be available for downloaded as soon as someone purchased it. It took a bit more finagling so that payments for the pattern went straight to Hyunwoo’s account.

Minhyuk left a hopeful little note at the end of the listing.  _ Girlfriend pattern coming soon! _

One click of the button, and Hyunwoo’s first pattern was for sale.

Minhyuk beamed at him. “Good luck!” And then he dashed off to class.

All through his afternoon classes, Hyunwoo was nervous, anxious, wanted to check his phone and see if anyone was buying the pattern. Minhyuk had posted another photo of Hoseok in the sweater on his Etsy Instagram account with a link to the pattern. Hyunwoo wanted to see how many likes it had.

He managed to make it all the way through his afternoon classes without sneaking a peek at his phone, lest he be yelled at. But as soon as he was out of class, he paused in the hallway, checked his phone. A hundred likes on the Instagram post.

Hyunwoo took a screenshot, sent it to Hoseok in a text message, and then he added,  _ You’re a star. _

A few moments later, Hoseok texted back,  _ Thanks to you and Kihyun and Minhyuk and everyone else. _

Hyunwoo typed back,  _ Pretty sure people wouldn’t be nearly as interested if the person in the picture was me. _

To which Hoseok responded,  _ You’re more handsome than you know. _

Warmth unfurled in Hyunwoo’s chest. He typed back,  _ You’re too kind. _

Hoseok sent a winky emoji and the words  _ Just honest. _

Heart fluttering, Hyunwoo headed for the convenience store to do his shift.

At the end of his shift, ten people had bought his pattern.

By the end of the week, fifty people had bought the pattern, a thousand people had liked Minhyuk’s Instagram post, and a couple thousand requests had been put in for the pattern for the matching girlfriend sweater.

Hyunwoo made tacos for all seven of them on Sunday night to celebrate.

“What are you going to do with the money?” Changkyun asked.

“Pay Hoseok and Kihyun and a model for girlfriend sweaters. Buy yarn for the girlfriend sweater. Buy yarn to make a matching hat, gloves, and scarf for my mother,” Hyunwoo said.

Minhyuk rolled his eyes. “So responsible. So  _ boring.” _

“Responsible is good,” Kihyun said tartly.

Jooheon said, “Once you’re done with the girlfriend sweater, you should make a hat, gloves, and scarf to go with the sweaters. For a whole couple’s outfit.”

Hyungwon gave him a high five. “Genius.”

Changkyun nudged Hyunwoo. “Better buy more yarn.”

“Thank you for the food,” Hoseok said.

Minhyuk said, “You’re going to look so stylish all winter. All handmade winter gear, just for you.”

Hyungwon said, “It’s nice that you think of your mother first. You’re such a good son.”

“I’m the oldest son,” Hyunwoo said.

“Me too!” Hyungwon’s eyes lit.

“And me,” Minhyuk said.

“Me three,” Hoseok said, in English, and Changkyun laughed.

Hyunwoo laughed along with them. These boys would never replace his gate team, but he hoped they’d never have to, that his time with them would always be as pleasant and light-hearted as tacos and laughter.

*

With the success of the sweater, Minhyuk organized a very deliberate marketing campaign to list patterns for Hyunwoo’s fingerless gloves, his cable scarf, and the billed cap that Hoseok loved to wear even though Changkyun insisted it made him look like a hermit crab. Minhyuk insisted that releasing a pattern a week was best so that people interested in the Etsy shop would feel like there was always something fresh and new to look at, and they wouldn’t get impatient while Hyunwoo worked on the girlfriend sweater.

“See, we should hold auditions for Hoseok’s ‘girlfriend’ before Chuseok, so you can make the sweater very fast during the school break,” Minhyuk said.

Kihyun nodded his agreement.

Hoseok said, “I’ll only date a really good ramyeun cook.”

“I’m a good ramyeun cook,” Kihyun said, “but I’m not a girl.”

Hoseok said, “Hyunwoo makes delicious ramyeun.”

Kihyun cast Hyunwoo a questioning look.

“I’ll make you ramyeun sometime,” Hyunwoo said quickly. 

Hoseok raised his eyebrows, and Hyunwoo amended,

“All of you. Us.”

Minhyuk smiled. “You can make us ramyeun after we hold auditions for the girlfriend model.”

Hyungwon said, “Are you finally going to introduce us to the girls in Knitting Club?”

“If they want to audition,” Minhyuk said.

They were at Jooheon’s dorm room, playing video games and sharing food, taking turns at the Playstation now that their homework was finished.

Changkyun said to Kihyun, “When you post the ad, include a picture of Hoseok. That way you’ll get plenty of applicants.”

Jooheon and Minhyuk were very competitive at video games, playing Mario Kart and shouting at each other.

Kihyun, who’d been tapping away at his phone, said, “Already did.”

At the mention of Chuseok, Hyunwoo realized. It had been a month since he’d visited his parents, because he usually spent the weekends with his friends. He still called his mother every week, but it wasn’t the same. She’d never scolded him for not visiting, but still. He’d have to apologize and do better.

Kihyun said, “We should start with that white sweater, same as you did for Hoseok.”

“Obviously,” Jooheon said. He’d been defeated, so he passed his controller off to Changkyun. “It’s what girls will want. A sweater that matches the one pretty Hoseok is wearing.”

“The majority of knitters are girls, right?” Hyungwon asked.

Hyunwoo nodded. “But I learned from a man.”

Hoseok raised his eyebrows. “Not your mother?”

“From a man I served with. I was on bed rest for a bit, after I was injured. He taught me so I wouldn’t be bored.”

Minhyuk nodded and handed his controller over to Hyungwon. “It’s mostly women who make lace, but I learned from a man as well - an American military officer.”

Jooheon eyed Hyunwoo. “You must have been injured badly.”

“It was bad enough.” Hyunwoo wouldn’t say more.

At Kihyun’s suggestion, they put on a drama, and they settled in to watch. One by one, they fell asleep, first Hyungwon, then Minhyuk, all the way through the group to Hyunwoo, who fell asleep last, curled up in the corner with his knitting on his lap.

He came awake sharply, breathing hard.

Beside him, Hoseok stirred. “You okay?”

Hyunwoo started to nod, but his heart was in his throat, and he couldn’t speak. He put his hands on his knees, panic sparking up and down his spine. He was safe and whole. He was on Earth. He was fine. The Wraith would never find him.

He couldn’t help it - he burst into tears. He clapped a hand over his mouth, horrified. If the others woke up and saw him -

Hoseok was fully awake and by his side in an instant. He yanked Hyunwoo into his arms and held him close, rocking him.

“Hey, you’re safe. You’re here, with me, not there. I’ve got you, not them.” Hoseok’s voice was low, gentle.

Hyunwoo knew he should pull away, stop crying, but he couldn’t. Icy terror was clawing at him from the depths of his dream-memories, and -

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed, clinging to Hoseok. “I’m sorry.”

Hoseok held him tighter. “It’s fine. I got you.” He patted Hyunwoo’s back, and Hyunwoo closed his eyes, focused on how warm Hoseok was, the smell of his skin, how soft his sweater was - the one Hyunwoo had made for him.

After a few minutes, the panic receded, and Hyunwoo was able to pull back.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “Thank you. I -”

“I understand.” Hoseok reached out, wiped away Hyunwoo’s tears. “I have nightmares too. Usually I wake up alone. It’s why I go to the gym extra early sometimes.

His hands were gentle. Hyunwoo wanted to pull him close again, but it would be wrong to take advantage of his friendship and natural kindness.

Instead he said, “Thanks for being here.”

They kept their voices low. All around them, the others slept, Hyungwon sprawled across Changkyun and Kihyun, Minhyuk and Jooheon curled around each other like a pair of puppies.

Hoseok said, “Come on. I’ll walk you home.”

It was a little chilly outside, as it was after midnight. Campus was utterly still.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Hoseok asked.

“The details are classified.”

“Do I need details to understand?”

“I was - out on patrol. We were ambushed by the enemy. I was captured, but the rest of my team escaped. They went back to base for help, but it was a few days before they found me.” Hyunwoo still had the tracker implanted behind his ear so he could be beamed up onto a battle cruiser. “The enemy tortured me. I never broke, didn’t tell them anything, but -”

Hoseok squeezed his shoulder, the pressure brief but reassuring. “But you’re here, even though you’d rather be out there.”

Hyunwoo nodded tightly. “What about you?”

“Nothing so heroic. Some of the men I served with didn’t really like me. It was after Kihyun and Minhyuk finished, so they don’t know. After lights out, they caught me alone, three men. They didn’t get far before our platoon leader noticed I wasn’t in the barracks.”

Hyunwoo thought of the scar he’d seen. “They got far enough.” He reached up, squeezed Hoseok’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here now, that they didn’t do worse.”

“Me too.” Hoseok smiled.

When he smiled like that, sweet and sincere, he was more beautiful than any of the photos he’d posed for.

They made it to Hyunwoo’s dorm first. At the door, Hoseok gave him another hug.

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here.”

“Same,” Hyunwoo said. “Thank you.”

Hoseok waved and headed for the stairs. “Take care.”

“Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”

Hoseok nodded and smiled again. “All right.”

*

When Hoseok saw Hyunwoo next, he smiled, squeezed his shoulder.

“You all right?”

Hyunwoo nodded. “Yes, thank you. I don’t have those dreams as often as I used to.” Then he glanced at his watch, realized how early both of them were at the gym. “Are  _ you _ all right?”

“It was a bit rough last night,” Hoseok admitted. 

Hyunwoo patted his arm. “I’m sorry. At least we’re here now. Come on - I’ll spot for you.”

After they’d worked out and showered, they separated for classes, agreed to meet up for lunch. While they were eating bibimbap in the student union, Minhyuk and Kihyun found them. They’d managed to pull it off: auditions for a girl model were all arranged. As both of them had the next night off, they should report to Knitting Club with the soft white sweater in tow, Hoseok’s and Hyunwoo’s for the girls to borrow.

“You ready for this?” Hyunwoo asked.

Hoseok shrugged. “It’s not like the winner will become my real girlfriend. Are  _ you _ ready? This means a lot of knitting for you.”

“Minhyuk’s right. I can get a lot done during Chuseok.” Hyunwoo wasn’t ready for this at all, but he did like the extra money. He’d been able to knit a matching winter set for his mother: hat, scarf, and mittens.

Hoseok nudged him. “You going home for Chuseok?”

“Of course. I don’t visit my parents enough.”

Hoseok nodded. “Me neither.” He glanced at Hyunwoo sidelong, then added, “I’ll miss you. Text me often.”

Hyunwoo felt another twinge of warmth and longing in his chest. “I will.”

Since Hyunwoo had attended an audition before, he knew what to expect. He surrendered his white sweater to Minhyuk and Hyungwon, who were handling makeup and hair, and then he got out of the way while Kihyun directed Changkyun and Jooheon who were organizing the lighting equipment.

He ended up sitting sort of near one of the lights that Changkyun was working, watching as Hoseok posed with each girl. It was interesting, to see how they reacted to him. All of them thought he was attractive, but some of them were shy, some of them were bold, some of them were downright awkward and stiff. Some of them understood Kihyun’s instructions, could express certain emotions on demand, but others could not. Hyunwoo tried to have an objective eye, think about who looked good in the sweater and who looked good with Hoseok, but he was terribly jealous of the way the girls got to cuddle close to Hyunwoo, put their arms around him or have his arms around them.

Some of the girls flirted with Hoseok between spates of shooting, others blushed and giggled at him but said little. And some of them were still downright awkward.

Hyunwoo thought of that awkwardness that resulted the first night he told the Knitting Club who his model was, and he wondered if Hoseok knew what they were thinking of him. Hyunwoo wasn’t sure he knew what the girls were thinking of Hoseok. 

Once all of the audition photos were taken, Hyunwoo handed out little gift bags full of cookies to say thank you. The girls smiled and accepted them, and they departed. A couple of them smiled at Hoseok, asked if they could be friends, and Hoseok was very polite in return, but Hyunwoo still couldn’t tell what anyone was thinking. Minhyuk and Kihyun conferred quietly off to one side. Changkyun, Jooheon, and Hyungwon started breaking down the photography equipment.

“You know the drill,” Jooheon said to Hyunwoo. “Dinner and a slideshow at your place.”

“Give me a couple of days,” Kihyun said. “To get the photos edited and finished for everyone’s consideration.”

Hyunwoo nodded. “Of course. Thank you so much, everyone, for your help.”

He headed back to the dorm, already planning what meal to cook. He wasn’t sure which would be worse - finding the perfect model out of the girls who’d auditioned today, or having to do the audition process all over again.

On Saturday night, he made ramyeun for everyone at Minhyuk’s insistence. He had a routine for cleaning his dorm so there was enough room for the others, even put a white sheet up on one empty wall to use as a projection screen.

Hoseok was the first to arrive. 

“Does this mean I get the biggest bowl?” He kicked off his shoes and toed on some slippers, then knelt beside Hyunwoo to peer at his motley collection of bowls.

Hyunwoo tried not to lean into Hoseok’s warmth beside him. “You know if you just wait a bit, Hyungwon will get full and let you eat half of his bowl.”

“True.” Hoseok hummed happily and rested his chin on Hyunwoo’s shoulder, watching him stir the pot.

Hyunwoon resisted the urge to sigh - or pull Hoseok in closer.

“As long as Hyungwon doesn’t give his food to Jooheon or Minhyuk first,” Hyunwoo added.

It had the intended effect. Hoseok shoved at him. “Don’t jinx me. Hyungwon should let me have his ramyeun first, as hyung.”

“As hyung,” Hyunwoo said, “I ask you to set the table.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes, but then he smiled at Hyunwoo and scooped up the stack of bowls, set the little makeshift table they always dined around. There wasn’t really enough room for all seven of them to sit side-by-side, but there was enough room for their bowls and chopsticks so they could serve themselves and then make themselves comfortable for the slideshow.

The others arrived one by one, trading their shoes for house slippers and exclaiming over the smell of cooking ramyeun. Kihyun was the last to arrive, and he was intent in setting up his projector and slideshow before he noticed what was for supper.

His eyes went wide. “This smells so good! Since when are you a better cook than me?”

“Not better,” Hyunwoo said quickly. “Just - different. This is my mother’s recipe.”

Hoseok flashed Hyunwoo a knowing look - Kihyun’s fragile ego was legendary; he was very conservative and easily embarrassed - but Hyunwoo didn’t say anything.

Once everyone had their share of ramyeun - and Hoseok called dibs on anything Hyungwon didn’t eat - and was settled into comfortable spots on cushions or bean bags or Hyunwoo’s bed, Kihyun started the slide show.

It was the same as last time, flipping through the photos till someone asked to stop and inspect a photo more closely.

“Euntak is very pretty,” Jooheon said.

Minhyuk cast him a look. “Are you going to ask her out on a date?”

“She’s pretty, but she was very awkward around me,” Hoseok said.

“I like Raim,” Changkyun said. “She has a very big smile.”

“Hoseok also has a wide smile,” Kihyun said. He hummed thoughtfully.

They continued flipping through the pictures. Once they’d narrowed it down to two models - Yoonjoo and Sobong - they went over all  of the pictures of both girls.

“Hyunwoo should have the final vote,” Hoseok said.

“Ah, but Kihyun is the photographer,” Hyunwoo protested. “He knows better than me.”

There was some final deliberation, but Kihyun and Hyunwoo came to a consensus in the end. 

The final winner was Sobong. Hyunwoo called her while Minhyuk called the others to deliver the news.

Sobong was excited but not too excited. She had been friendly to Hyunwoo without being flirty, which Hyunwoo liked. 

“Thank you so much! I am pleased I am pretty enough for Kihyun,” she said.

“We decided as a team,” Hyunwoo said as diplomatically as possible. Then he moved on to business. “Have you made a sweater for yourself before?”

“I have.”

“Could you send me your measurements? So I can make a sweater for you.”

“Of course! I’ll text them right away. Thanks again, Hyunwoo-oppa.” 

He could hear the smile in her voice.

The call ended, and he stepped back into the room. Kihyun was directing Hyungwon and Changkyun to help him wash the dishes.

“What now?” Hoseok asked. “My fake girlfriend is all sorted out -”

“You don’t deserve a real one,” Kihyun said. “You’re too vain.”

Hyunwoo was offended on Hoseok’s behalf, but Hoseok just laughed and flexed one of his biceps.

“We should watch a movie,” Jooheon said.

“What movie?” Minhyuk asked.

“I want to watch the latest episode of that robot drama,” Hyungwon said.

After some good-natured squabbling, they settled on two episodes, one each of a different drama.

Hoseok curled up beside Hyunwoo, head on his shoulder, and Hyunwoo wished fiercely it was just the two of them.

*

Going home for Chuseok was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, Hyunwoo was back in the comfort of his childhood bedroom, which was almost as big as his study dorm now. He had people around him, which he missed from his time on Atlantis, from having his gate team just a radio call away all the time. The best part was no classes and no work, though he did have to study. But he could sleep in, and have brunch on his own, and then supper with his parents. He could watch TV from the comfort of their couch while he knitted, and he could talk with them and joke with his father. He could see his grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins when they went to pay their respects at the family grave.

On the other hand, Hyunwoo’s mother fussed over him constantly. Was his knee hurting him? Was he sleeping right? Did he have enough to eat? Was he getting his studying one? Were his wrists hurting from knitting so much? Who were his friends? How were all his friends? Was he going on lots of dates? Was he doing well in his classes?

Hyunwoo was used to being sent through the stargate to an alien planet with little more than a  _ Godspeed and good hunting,  _ being sent to class with a clap on the shoulder from one of his friends, so his mother’s level of interest was overwhelming. She was very pleased that he had lots of friends. They all looked very handsome and kind. If he was in Knitting Club with lots of girls, he should have been going on lots of dates with them. Their pictures on Instagram were all very pretty. If they were good knitters, they were likely good cooks, would make good wives.

Hyunwoo’s father looked amused at Hyunwoo’s discomfort, so he smiled and bore up under it.

It was wonderful to see his extended family, to have his mother’s cooking, to be away from school and the crush of campus. He went swimming every day at the local pool. He missed lifting weights.

And he missed Hoseok, fiercely.

Even though Hoseok texted him all the time. 

_ Good morning.  _

_ Lifting weights!  _ This accompanied by a selfie of Hoseok in a tank top, gleaming with sweat, all firm muscles, smiling sweetly.

_ Cooldown stretches.  _

_ Protein shake.  _ This accompanied by a selfie of Hoseok holding up a blender bottle, pouting and pretending to kiss the side of the bottle.

_ Going for a run!  _ Another selfie of Hoseok in running gear.

_ Relaxing with my mom.  _ A selfie of Hoseok and an older woman who had his smile.

_ Making music. Check this out! _ This was a video of Hoseok sitting at a keyboard, his laptop open on the desk beside him, which was decorated with cute little bunny figurines of all things. He was wearing big headphones and his expression was intent. Then he cleared his throat, placed his hands on the keys, and began to play and sing.

His voice was surprisingly sweet.

_ Wow new life _ __  
_ You gave me these big wings as a gift _ __  
_ Just like that I become the sky blue cage _ __  
_ Just like that, larger than my hand _ __  
_ It’s weird to say this, but I don’t have a lot of time _ __  
_ Because of you _ __  
_ Even when I look out the window _ __  
_ When I wake up _ _  
_ __ I see your smiling face

Hoseok looked a little embarrassed while he sang, his cheeks stained pink with a sweet blush. He’d set his keyboard to a bright sound, that reminded Hoseok of a beach soundtrack, bright and bouncy. He could imagine Hoseok in an MV, gamboling across white sands while the song played in the background.

Hyunwoo was impressed, that Hoseok had recorded harmony vocals in the background. His voice multiplied on itself was even sweeter. Hyunwoo could listen to him sing all day.

When the song was finished, he smiled at the camera and winked, and the video ended.

Hyunwoo watched the video quite possibly a thousand times.

He did his best to reply to every text, send pictures back whenever he thought he looked all right, but he couldn’t think of a video to send.

His mother caught him rewatching the video of Hoseok singing. He quickly set his phone aside, apologized for being distracted. But his mother just winked at him.

“I hope she’s very pretty, and a good cook.”

Hyunwoo’s stomach twisted in knots, but he managed a smile.

And then he kept on knitting. Thanks to all his spare time relaxing, he was able to get a lot of knitting done. Sobong was very fast about getting him her sweater measurements, as she had made sweaters for herself, and Hyunwoo bought some yarn to match the white fuzzy sweater he’d made for Hoseok, and he worked fast.

His mother had loved the knitted winter set he made for her, and he’d obliged her by taking photos of her that she could share on her instagram. She said he could use the photos for his instagram as well to promote his knitting. She was very proud of how good a knitter he was, how talented he was. She also asked, a little bashfully, for maybe a matching hat or scarf, for his father, so they could have their own couple’s outfit. Hyunwoo had enough yarn to make a hat for his father, so he paused in making Sobong’s not-really-a-girlfriend sweater to make a hat for him.

The picture of his parents, in matching hats, made his heart ache.

He wondered if he’d ever get to have a picture like that, with Hoseok.

The others kept in touch with him over the break as well. Minhyuk sent endless selfies, of himself with his brother and his pet dog and the lace he was working on (he could make lace accents for some sweaters Hyunwoo made for girls). Kihyun sent bunches of motherly texts, checking on the progress of the girlfriend sweater, because it was getting cooler and he was already thinking of concepts for the next photography session. Jooheon and Changkyun sent him strange videos - of them playing video games in the middle of the night, or rap songs they were writing, since both of them were aspiring rappers on top of what they were learning at school. Hyungwon sent him a few selfies, mostly kindly inquiring text messages, and also some clips of himself speaking various languages so he and Hyunwoo could both stay in practice. 

By the time Chuseok was over, Hyunwoo was well-fed, glad to have spent so much time with his family, and also ready to get back to the dorms. He had also completed the girlfriend sweater, so it was time for the next photo shoot.

*

With the change in weather and the concept Kihyun had dreamed up, the photoshoot couldn’t happen first thing in the morning before classes, because the light wasn’t good enough. It took Minhyuk’s superior social organizing skills to find a time when everyone who was needed could be available mid-morning, before the lunch break, when the light was best. The concept was Hoseok and Sobong on a fall coffee date. To that end, Changkyun had brought some wrought iron outdoor furniture - a table and two chairs - for the “date” where Hoseok and Sobong could sit and look at each other dreamily. Hyungwon had procured matching mugs full of steaming hot cocoa instead of actual coffee, since the contents of the mugs were not the point of the photo shoot. Everyone had spent the week before raking up fall-colored leaves and collecting them in bags so that Minhyuk and Hyungwon could scatter leaves over the smiling couple while they sipped their beverages and looked cozy and romantic.

Changkyun helped Kihyun with the lights, as always. Jooheon split his time between positioning a fan so the leaves and Sobong’s hair blew attractively and helping Hyunwoo keep nosy people out of the designated photography space. Plenty of people paused to watch, ask questions. Was it for some kind of fashion show? Were they famous models? Who was the photographer? What brand were the models wearing? Hyunwoo heard plenty of girls gushing about how handsome Hoseok was, using their phones to sneak photos of him. Plenty of boys commented about how pretty Sobong was, too. They asked Hyunwoo how they could get her number. Hyunwoo politely but firmly told them to move along, people were working. If he put a bit of his old drill sergeant’s tone into his voice, well, it worked.

Kihyun had made the right choice with Sobong. She looked good beside Hoseok, was athletic herself as a martial artist, and she had good chemistry with him. When they smiled at each other, Hyunwoo could almost believe they were in love. A good number of the shots were of the two of them sitting opposite each other at the table, gazing into each other’s eyes, sometimes smiling, sometimes fairly smoldering at each other. Sometimes Hoseok picked up his mug and pursed his lips, blew across the surface of the hot cocoa before he drank, and he looked perfectly kissable. About half of the shots were of the two of them sitting close to each other, Sobong tucked into Hoseok’s side, him gazing adoringly down at her while she smiled up at him.

More than once, they were close enough to kiss.

Hyunwoo clenched his hands into fists and prayed that Kihyun wouldn’t ask them to actually kiss.

Which he didn’t. He was all business, barking orders, demanding more leaves, a breeze from this side, a light from that side.  _ Hurry, hurry, time is money, don’t you want to be able to eat lunch before the next class? _

They finished quite quickly. Hyunwoo paid Sobong gratefully, and then Kihyun was organizing the clean-up efforts.

“What about the sweater?” Sobong asked.

“I made it for you - it’s all yours.” Hyunwoo smiled at her. 

She bowed and thanked him and left, and then Hyunwoo had to scramble to help Kihyun break down his equipment. As Hyunwoo and Hoseok were the strongest, they were tasked with helping Kihyun get his equipment back to his dorms. Thankfully, when they met up in the student union with Minhyuk and the others, Minhyuk had ordered food for them.

Hyunwoo sank down into the booth and went to pull his food close, but Hoseok squeezed in beside him, pressed right up against his side, and reached for his own food.

“I look great in this sweater,” he said, smiling at Hyunwoo. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Hyunwoo hoped he wasn’t blushing.

“What are my measurements? I’m just curious,” Hoseok said. 

“I can send them to you.” Hyunwoo had them on his phone. 

“Thanks!” Hoseok smiled. Then he nudged Hyunwoo. “What are your measurements? So I can compare.”

“We’re about the same size in some respects,” Hyunwoo said. 

Hoseok nudged him. “Send them to me. I’m curious.”

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure he could ever say no to Hoseok. “All right. I’m not nearly as strong as you.”

“You’re plenty strong.”

Kihyun and Minhyuk were discussing timelines - editing time, posting time.

Minhyuk started talking to Hyunwoo about the possibility of collaborating - he could make collars and decorative appliques for any of Hyunwoo’s sweaters and hats and scarves. Maybe also some pins or brooches that would look good with the colors Hyunwoo used.

Hyunwoo tried to keep up with all the conversations around him, but he was hyperaware of Hoseok’s warmth beside him.

After lunch, Hyunwoo hurried off to class. He had to work hard and do his best to concentrate. It was wonderful, that he had friends who were so supportive of his knitting and his new Etsy endeavors. He missed his gate team, missed going through the gate, but most nights he fell asleep and had easy dreams.

Well, easier dreams. 

No more Wraith, no more blaster fire, no more torture.

Just the beautiful boy he’d never get to have.

*

The final photos that Kihyun sent over were beautiful. Hoseok and Sobong looked like the perfect couple. At Knitting Club, when Minhyuk and Hyunwoo worked on the PDF of the pattern for the girlfriend sweater, the others girls crowded around to see, giggling about how handsome Hoseok was and how he and Sobong looked like a real couple.

Hyunwoo was relieved that Sobong was kind when she spoke about Hoseok. She was modest, said most of the credit went to Minhyuk and Kihyun, who did her makeup and made her look beautiful with their skills. She said Hoseok was a very professional model, helped her stay at ease in front of the camera. The other girls were also very pleased with how pretty the sweater turned out and how good Sobong looked in the sweater.

“As soon as that pattern is available I’m buying it,” Euntak said.

“Luckily for me,” Sobong said, “I have the sweater for free.”

“If you happen to wear it the same day Hoseok-ssi does, you’ll look like a couple.” Yoonjoo giggled behind one hand.

Because Hyunwoo had made a pattern before and the pattern for the new sweater was similar to the old one, making the new PDF was going pretty fast. Minhyuk was there to make sure photos were arranged appropriately, that fonts and spacing were consistent. Having a previous template did make things so much easier.

Hyunwoo got it uploaded fast, including a note that matching accessories - hat, scarf, gloves, mittens, fingerless gloves, arm warmers - were forthcoming. As soon as the PDF was ready, he uploaded it to the Etsy store, with bundle pricing included for anyone who bought the boyfriend sweater pattern at the same time.

Minhyuk uploaded publicity photos to the Etsy Store Instagram feed, pressed the “done” button with a relish.

“There! Be prepared to help other couples be very cute in matching sweaters.”

“I am prepared,” Hyunwoo said. He wished he’d have the chance to make cute matching sweaters for himself and a boyfriend, but he said nothing.

Of course, the next task was to design accessories. Hyunwoo had existing patterns he could modify, so he was glad for that. Minhyuk suggested perhaps customizing the girlfriend portion of accessories with lace accents. Hyunwoo was supportive of that, especially since Minhyuk could make lace medallions that looked like snowflakes.

After Knitting Club, Hyunwoo headed on back to his study dorm, considering his next move beyond the question of accessories. Which sweater pattern would he want to convert into a matching set? What would be a good contrast to this first pattern but still look good on Hoseok? And also Sobong, who was slight and slender in comparison.

When Hyunwoo got back to his dorm, he changed for bed, brushed his teeth, and lay down, but he was unable to sleep. He unlocked his phone and sent off some emails to his old teammates, to some of his language practice pen-pals, but that didn’t make him sleepy.

Finally, he turned on that video, the one of Hoseok singing, and watched him smile at the camera.

His phone buzzed with a text message. From Hoseok.

_ What are you doing tomorrow night? _

Hyunwoo typed back immediately.  _ After work, probably studying and knitting or something unless Minhyuk makes plans. _

_ Want to hang out with me? _

Hyunwoo’s heart pounded. Of course, hanging out wasn’t a date.  _ Sure. _

_ Will you help me with a school project? _

_ I’ll try my best, _ Hyunwoo sent, when what he really meant was  _ anything for you. _

Hoseok sent back a smiley emoticon.  _ All right. Dinner’s on me. See you after work? _

_ After work. _

Hyunwoo had been to all of the other boys’ dorms before. Usually hanging out happened at Changkyun or Jooheon’s dorms since they had the biggest ones, or Hyunwoo’s if he was cooking, but Hyunwoo had been to Kihyun’s to help with photography equipment or to Minhyuk’s to help him carry supplies to Knitting Club. Hoseok had a smaller study dorm as well, with even less furniture than Hyunwoo since he had a home set of weights that took up room, and no one like hanging out there.

But there would be plenty of room for just two of them.

After that, it was even more impossible to fall asleep, but Hyunwoo managed somehow.

He forced himself out of bed and to his morning swim. He managed not to be completely consumed by thoughts of Hoseok all through classes, if only because Minhyuk kept messaging him about the success of the newest addition to the Etsy store and the cleverness of their business model. Thousands of people had liked the pictures posted on the Etsy store Instagram feed, and about a hundred people had bought the patterns by the time Hyunwoo was done with his shift at the convenience store.

But after he clocked out and bade his manager good evening, it hit him full force: he was spending the rest of the evening with just Hoseok.

Helping Hoseok with a school project, of course, but it would be just him and Hoseok all the same.

When he arrived at Hoseok’s dorm, Hoseok answered the door, wearing a t-shirt and comfortable shorts. Hyunwoo toed off his shoes and put on some slippers, and then he sat with Hoseok beside his desk, where his laptop and keyboard and a recording mike were set up.

“I’m not as good a cook as you,” Hoseok said, “but I make pretty good instant ramyeon. I picked up some soju, so you can relax.”

The thought of getting drunk with Hoseok was worrying, because who knew what Hyunwoo would say once alcohol had loosened his tongue? But he’d drunk with Marines, wouldn’t turn stupidly honest with one bottle of soju.

“Thank you,” Hyunwoo said, and accepted the bottle.

They toasted each other, then started in on the ramyeun.

Hoseok asked how Etsy sales were going. He was pleased when Hyunwoo reported they were going well. Hyunwoo asked how Hoseok’s day had been, and Hoseok told him about some of the antics of his young taekwondo students.

“So, how can I help you with this school project?”

“I’ve written some songs, and I’m looking for people to sing them with me.”

Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows. “Me? But - Kihyun and Jooheon are better singers, were in church choir together. Minhyuk and Hyungwon have good voices too.”

“I’ve heard your voice,” Hoseok said, “when you sing along to songs on the television sometimes. It’s good. Plus it’s deeper than their voices, and I want different textures in my songs.”

“Ah, all right. I’ll do my best.” Hyunwoo had always performed well enough when his old teammates wanted to do karaoke, but given how inebriated everyone was before they dare try, he always took their compliments with a grain of salt.

Hoseok beamed. “Thank you! I really appreciate it.”

“Well, you’ve helped me very much, and I appreciate it too. What song?”

“I have several songs I’ve written. Some of them I am making group songs, so everyone sings a few line in each.”

“Like an idol group,” Hyunwoo said wisely, and Hoseok nodded.

“But I have solo songs for everyone as well, and part of my classes involve not just my ability to write music, but also to mix and produce music, so I have solo covers chosen for each of you as well.” Hoseok finished his bowl of ramyeun and set it aside, well away from his laptop and recording equipment. He reached for the mouse, woke his computer from hibernation. “I figure we can start small, with just the bit parts. Remember that song I sent you during Chuseok?”

Hyunwoo listened to it almost daily. “Yes, I remember.”

“I’ve assigned parts for everyone, even let Jooheon and Changkyun write little rap parts. Let me show you your lines, and what they sound like. I made a guide track - obviously, I sent you the video of me recording it.” Hoseok smiled.

Hyunwoo finished his bowl of ramyeun and also set it aside carefully, then slid closer to Hoseok. “All right. Let me listen?”

There was something strangely intimate to their shared focus as Hoseok fired up a fancy recording program, flipped through various screens, adjusted settings, and found the section he wanted. Then he handed Hyunwoo a pair of expensive headphones and a piece of paper - with the lyrics on it - and Hyunwoo was lost in a familiar song.

He was jolted out of the sweet, airy lightness of Hoseok’s voice by Hoseok nudging him.

“Think you can sing it?”

Oh no. He was supposed to be learning his part, not imagining Hoseok was singing so sweetly just to him. “Can I hear it one more time?”

“Of course.” Hoseok smiled, pressed a button his keyboard.

This time Hyunwoo focused on the melody Hoseok was singing, fitting it to the lyrics Hoseok had given him. He could sing his portion just fine, he was pretty sure.

“One more time?” he asked, once the section finished.

Hoseok pressed another button, and this time Hyunwoo tried to sing along, stumbling a bit here and there. But when he was finished, Hoseok tugged one earphone away from his head.

“That sounded pretty good. Sing with me?”

Hyunwoo nodded, settled the headphones around his neck, and sang along with Hoseok. A couple of times Hoseok had to pause, backtrack, guide Hyunwoo slowly through a tricky run of notes, but after about ten minutes Hyunwoo had his part down pat. He was only singing two parts, one at the end of the first verse, one at the beginning of the bridge, but the bridge occurred twice in the song.

“You can sing it twice, or I can just copy and paste the one good take,” Hoseok said. “For consistency of sound.”

“I’ll sing it twice for you if you want,” Hyunwoo said, because the longer he sang, the longer he’d get to spend with Hoseok.

He’d never considered how technical the recording process was, though. The way it worked was he heard the backing track through his headphones, sang his part, but somehow Hoseok heard just his singing part in his headphones, and they’d have to redo the take if Hyunwoo hit a note wrong or the take was too breathy or something else went wrong.

And then once Hyunwoo was done singing his part, he was sidelined while Hoseok sank deep into concentration, working with his fancy music producing software to piece the three clips of Hyunwoo singing into a whole song.

“Can I listen to it when it’s done?” Hyunwoo asked.

“Of course. But the others have to record their parts first.” Hoseok’s voice was low, distracted.

Hyunwoo wondered if that was what he was like while he was knitting - quiet, absorbed in his work, oblivious to all around him. He didn’t think he was. Did Hoseok feel ignored, snubbed while Hyunwoo was knitting?

Probably not, because he didn’t like Hyunwoo nearly as much as Hyunwoo liked him.

But after about half an hour - during which Hyunwoo knitted, because he wasn’t one to waste time - Hoseok smiled at sat back, tugged his headphones off.

“You have a lovely voice. Thank you for helping me.”

“It’s no bother at all,” Hyunwoo said, which Hoseok would take as typical politeness, but for Hyunwoo it was the absolute truth, because he got to have Hoseok all to himself, got to see his face drawn in concentration, got to watch his deft hands on the keyboards and mouse, got to admire the play of muscle in his hands and arms.

Hoseok favored him with a sunny smile. “Hyung is so good to me.”

Hyunwoo’s stomach flip-flopped. “Only because dongsae is so good to me.” He put his knitting away. Should he suggest they watch a movie or some anime or a drama or something?

Hoseok said, “You know the song All of Me, by John Legend?”

Hyunwoo nodded. “I’ve heard it on the radio. It’s a good song. Why?”

“Think you could sing it?”

It was in English. Speaking it was one thing. Singing it well was another. Hyunwoo took a deep breath. “For you, I’ll try.”

“I think you’ll sound amazing. Thank you.”

Hyunwoo said, “No, thank you.”

And then Hoseok minimized his music software screen. “Hey, want to watch an episode of this new robot drama I found?”

“Sure.”

They arranged themselves on Hoseok’s bed with his computer screen in comfortable view, the two of them pressed close together, sharing a bowl of vegetable straw snacks, and watched. Hyunwoo had no idea what the show was about or who was in it, but he knew how Hoseok’s warmth felt pressed against his side, what he smelled like, the thrum of laughter through his body when he was amused, the way his eyes went wide when he was surprised, how his mouth formed a perfect kissable little “o”.

After the episode, Hoseok admitted he was very tired, but sometime they’d watch another?

Hyunwoo promised he’d be back to watch another episode, and hopefully record his solo song, though learning it might take a while.

Hoseok actually hugged him before he departed, and Hyunwoo was floating on air all the way back to his dorm.

He fell asleep listening to All of Me on repeat on his phone.

_ I give you all of me… _

If only one day Hoseok would offer him the other half of the lyrics.

_ And you give me all of you. _

*

The next day, Hyunwoo found his download of All of Me in his music library, added it to his current playlist, and listened to it over and over again, humming along. He was all right at singing in English, was probably the most fluent in English after Changkyun, given that he’d been stationed with the American military for a long time.

He could see about singing for part of his final demonstration project in his English class. That would be more interesting than reciting a poem or reading a section of a famous English book, right? 

The sooner he learned his song, the sooner he’d get to spend a lot of quality time with Hoseok for the recording.

Only Hoseok hadn’t been kidding - he had solo songs for everyone else to sing, covers of a mix of K-pop and American pop songs (and a rap song for Changkyun), and they were all on tightly organized schedules for recording. At lunch, Hyunwoo sat with his friends and listened to them talk excitedly about the songs they were going to sing, the parts they’d already recorded. Minhyuk was singing a cover of a K-pop ballad called That’s All Right. Jooheon was singing an American pop song by Bruno Mars, Versace on the Floor. Kihyun was singing a cover of a song off of the soundtrack to the drama Goblin: The Great and Lonely God.

“Girls will love that,” Hyungwon said, a little enviously. He was singing a cover of Drake’s Fake Love.

“How will you get anything for any other classes done?” Hyunwoo asked Hoseok, who was showing them his notebook with a hand-drawn recording schedule in it.

Hoseok said, “This is the majority of my studying, and this assignment counts a lot toward the final grade. I’ll be fine. Someone can cover me at the dojang if it becomes necessary.”

“What are you singing?” Changkyun asked Hyunwoo.

Hyunwoo told him.

Minhyuk made an appreciative sound. “The girls will really love that.”

“I’m not doing it for the girls - I want to help Hoseok,” Hyunwoo said.

Jooheon said, “I’m definitely doing it for the girls,” and Changkyun and Minhyuk laughed.

Kihyun said, “Can I get a copy of the recording of my song? To give to my mother. She loves that drama.”

“Of course.” Hoseok smiled. “I’ll make an album.”

Minhyuk nudged Kihyun. “We should make album cover art for him.”

Kihyun’s eyes lit up. “Yes! We need a concept, though.”

“Oh no,” Changkyun said, deadpan. “They’re  _ planning.” _

“Don’t worry,” Minhyuk said. “We’ll make you look beautiful.”

“I want to look badass,” Changkyun protested.

Kihyun flapped a hand at him. “Do your service first.”

Changkyun rolled his eyes. He wasn’t planning on enlisting till he was done with school.

And once again, Hyunwoo’s friends were planning.

Hyunwoo was planning, too. To rehearse his song as best as he could - and maybe get some singing tips from Kihyun - so his performance for Hoseok was the very best it could be.

After lunch, Minhyuk, Hyunwoo, and Hyungwon walked across campus together, Hyunwoo and Hyungwon to their English class, Minhyuk to one of his art classes.

“I should make us pretty lace things, for Kihyun’s album art photo shoot, but I’m getting lots of lace commissions for Halloween.” Minhyuk sighed. “I wish I knew someone else who knew how to make lace. Do either of you want to learn?”

Hyunwoo had watched Minhyuk make lace, and the techniques made no sense - and looked impossible, except for the the fact that Minhyuk could actually do them.

Hyungwon rolled his eyes. “Being so popular is such a burden.”

Minhyuk said, “You and Jooheon and Changkyun already have lots of lovely accessories. We could reuse some. I’ll talk to Kihyun. Hyunwoo, think about what kind of lace you’d want to wear.” He waved and peeled away from the group.

“I’ve never thought about what kind of lace I want to wear, ever,” Hyunwoo said, watching him go.

Hyungwon clapped him on the shoulder and said, in careful English, “No time like the present.”

Hyunwoo sighed.

The good thing about practicing the song was that it gave Hyunwoo a reason to take breaks from his knitting. Given how overwhelmed Minhyuk was with orders for accessories for Halloween costumes, Hyunwoo wasn’t sure if he was relieved or sad that no one wanted him to custom-knit any sweaters. His patterns were selling well enough that he could buy supplies for further knitting projects and also have a bit extra to save for a rainy day - or maybe another nice gift for his parents or even Hoseok. As long as Hyunwoo made steady progress producing new patterns, all would be well for his Etsy store.

Hyunwoo had taken some basic singing lessons in school, when he’d vaguely entertained the notion of becoming an idol - hence the dance lessons that he’d been more diligent at - and he had to dredge up his old training about posture and breathing.

But every night, for about half an hour, he practiced his song, standing tall and making sure he joined his notes and pronounced the lyrics best as he could. 

All that English made him miss Atlantis, his old gate team.

“You know,” Changkyun said over lunch one day, “I speak the best English out of all of us. Jooheon thinks he’s second-best at English, but it’s you, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know.” Hyunwoo glanced over at Jooheon, who was describing in detail to Minhyuk the lace he wanted for the album shoot. “I’ve never really heard him speak much English.”

“But when something English is playing in the background, or when people speak English on dramas - you understand,” Changkyun said. “I lived in America for a few years as a kid. Where did you learn? Besides school.”

“When I did my service,” Hyunwoo said. “I was stationed with a lot of Americans. Everyone on base spoke English, for the most part.”

Changkyun eyed him. “They sent you outside of Korea?”

“Yes,” Hyunwoo said, and resisted the urge to add,  _ Far, far outside. _

Changkyun glanced at Hoseok, who’d also stayed in longer than needed.

“They probably won’t send you overseas for your service,” Hyunwoo said. He hadn’t been sent overseas till he was done with basic.

“We should practice English sometime,” Changkyun said.

“Or just watch a bunch of English movies,” Hyunwoo said. “Without subtitles.”

Changkyun considered. “True.”

Kihyun turned to Hyunwoo. “How is your song coming along? Have you recorded yet?”

“I am rehearsing often,” Hyunwoo said. “But I haven’t recorded yet. I think I’m last on the list.”

Kihyun patted him on the shoulder. “Do you need any help?”

“I think I’m all right,” Hyunwoo said. “But...maybe you could come listen to me practice one time?”

Hyungwon shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. What really matters is the recording work Hoseok does.”

“But he’ll probably get a better grade if we sing well,” Hyunwoo pointed out.

Jooheon nudged Minhyuk. “We’re awesome, so Hoseok will get the  _ best _ grade.”

“And modest,” Changkyun said, rolling his eyes when Minhyuk gave Jooheon a high five.

Hyunwoo was in one of the music practice rooms he’d scheduled for his final rehearsals, singing his heart out - he’d managed to find a backing track without vocals to sing to - when his phone buzzed.

He’d forgotten to turn off the notifications so his music wouldn’t be interrupted.

He sighed, picked up his phone, went to shut off the notifications, and saw that he had a message from the Etsy store.

Someone wanted him to make couples sweaters.

Hyunwoo opened the Etsy app, went to his messages.

The message was a single question:  _ Do you make boyfriend sweaters, for a pair of boyfriends? _

Hyunwoo was certainly capable of knitting such sweaters, but - 

Was the requester - username  _ Wontokki _ \- asking what Hyunwoo thought he was asking?

His heart thumped.

He typed back,  _ Yes, I do. Same price as for any other couples sweaters. Please send measurements and payment up front. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. _

And he hit send.

He stared at his inbox for a long time, but there was no follow-up.

So he turned off notifications and got back to singing.

He remembered to turn his notifications back on as he walking back to his dorm after singing practice, and he saw he had a follow-up note on Etsy.

_ Perfect. Here are the measurements. _

Hyunwoo stared at the measurements. They were familiar, about his size or Hoseok’s size, wouldn’t require a lot of custom engineering.

Payment was sent.

Hyunwoo wrote back that the order was accepted and he’d get started right away.

He was making boyfriend sweaters.

For someone else.

He finished trudging back to his dorm and fell asleep, dreaming of knitting sweaters for himself and Hoseok.

*

Hyunwoo did his best not to be awfully jealous over the next few weeks as the others buckled down to record their songs for Hoseok. But there was always a glaring absence from any activity he did in the evenings with the others: Hoseok and whoever he was recording with. Hyunwoo stayed quiet and knitted furiously. Minhyuk was also quieter than usual, distracted by the influx of lace orders, so no one noticed that Hyunwoo was a little out of sort. He was quieter and ever more out of sorts during the day, when Hoseok was present at lunch and gushing about how well everyone sang. Hyunwoo might have been more jealous about how everyone universally praised Kihyun’s voice as the best if Kihyun’s recording session hadn’t been by far the shortest on account of his skill.

Since Hyunwoo was being so quiet and knitting so hard, he was making excellent progress on his sweater project.

“It’s so good that you finally got a commission,” Minhyuk said during lunch one day.

Hyunwoon forgave him for all the gushing compliments from Hoseok about how pretty his husky voice was.

“Too bad you’re going to send them so far away. It’d be nice to be able to see the finished product on a person around campus sometimes,” Minhyuk continued. “I’m fortunate that Hyungwon actually wears the chokers I make for him now and again.”

Of the seven of them, Hyungwon was the most creative and daringly fashionable, probably because he’d done some work as a professional model.

Hyungwon patted Hyunwoo’s shoulder absently. “The sweaters look like they’re coming along nicely.”

Hyunwoo was pleased that the sweaters were coming along well. Instead of the white in the original pattern, the lucky-in-love Wontokki had asked for the sweaters to be done up in a soft, fine wool that was a gradient of white to blue. He didn’t mind if the pattern of gradient didn’t work up identically for the two sweaters, because they would still match.

“I really like the color of the yarn,” Changkyun said, which was rather unlike him, commenting on crafts, but Hyunwoo smiled.

“I like it too.” It was a color he might have chosen for himself.

The good thing about Hoseok dominating their lunchtime conversation with reports on how the recording was going was that he was the center of attention, so Hyunwoo could stare at him without seeming too strange.

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure if his life had spiraled out of control or not, but outside of working out, work and his classes and studies, he breathed and lived his knitting project - and the song he would sing for Hoseok.

But the night finally came when it would be Hyunwoo and Hoseok alone in Hoseok’s dorm room for hours, all of Hoseok’s attention focused on Hyunwoo. Hyunwoo ducked home after his shift at the convenience store to change into something a little nicer, though not too nice - he didn’t want to make it obvious. He knew Hoseok would need time to clean up after his class at the dojang anyway.

When he knocked on Hoseok’s door - he’d brought his knitting project, for when Hoseok would lapse into focused silence, working on the mixing - Hoseok answered with a smile. He was wearing a tank top and his hair was damp. Hyunwoo could see his collarbones. His throat tightened.

No. He swallowed hard. He needed to be able to sing.

“Come in,” Hoseok said. “Finally, it’s just you. The good thing about leaving you for last is I can take all the time I want with you.”

“Because I’m the worst singer?” Hyunwoo kicked off his shoes.

Hoseok’s eyes went wide. “No! Not at all. But - come in. I have some hot honey tea for you. Drink, and then we can warm up your voice.”

Hyunwoo nudged him. “I’m just kidding. I have a great voice. And I practiced hard.”

“Hopefully not too hard.” Hoseok reached up, touched the side of Hyunwoo’s throat.

Hyunwoo’s breath caught.

Hoseok snatched his hand back. “Come, sit. I’ll tell you about my day while you drink.”

It was probably terribly unprofessional, but Hyunwoo drank his tea really slowly while he listened to Hoseok talk about his day, how his classes were going, how the children at the dojang were doing. He could drink down his tea and drink in the sight of Hoseok smiling brightly, gesturing as he recounted a sparring match gone wrong between two of the children.

Finally, Hyunwoo finished his tea. He thanked Hoseok and set the mug aside.

Then they sat at Hoseok’s desk, crowded in close. Hoseok played scales on his keyboard while Hyunwoo sang along, warming up his voice.

“I’m going to accompany you on the keyboard,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo nodded. He was a little giddy at the notion of it, of the two of them making music together, but he kept his expression calm. He’d gone through the stargate dozens of times. He’d faced down Wraith. He could sing a love song with the boy he was in love with.

“We’ll sing the main line first, and then I’ll have you sing your own harmonies as well.” Hoseok clapped Hyunwoo on the shoulder. “You ready?”

Hyunwoo nodded.

Hoseok handed him headphones - he wore a pair of his own - and then he fiddled with his computer. Once he was ready, he started to play the familiar piano riff.

Hyunwoo began to sing.

_ What would I do without your smart mouth _ __  
_ Drawing me in, and you kicking me out _ _  
_ __ Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down

It was easy to close his eyes and imagine he was singing this to Hoseok. He curled his hands on his knees and leaned in to the microphone and gave it his all.

And then the song finished and Hoseok said, 

“That was good! There are a couple of sections I want to redo, but your voice is so good! I knew I was right to choose you.”

Hyunwoo opened his eyes, and Hoseok’s smile was perfectly friendly. Of course. Because they were just friends.

“Which places do you want me to do better?”

“A couple of your ad-libs on the final chorus were a bit flat,” Hoseok said, almost apologetically.

“I’ll do it again,” Hyunwoo said. Would it be terrible to sabotage a few takes so he could spend more time with Hoseok?

But he didn’t want to seem like a worse singer than he was, and besides, Hoseok had already worked long and hard today - Hyunwoo shouldn’t make his day longer and harder.

Besides, they had to record all the harmonies, and Hyunwoo had to learn those on the spot. Even though both of them had to focus hard, concentrate hard - and take plenty of breaks for hot honey tea for the both of them, since Hoseok usually had to sing a demonstration of a harmony for Hyunwoo - Hyunwoo could still revel in Hoseok’s attention, his warmth and his smiles when he sang especially well.

“I’ll have to do the final mixing later, but - it’s all done. Want to hear?”

It was almost two in the morning.

Hyunwoo nodded, partially because Hoseok’s expression was so eager, partially because he really did want to hear.

They both put on their headphones, and Hoseok pressed play.

He was skilled at mixing songs, because Hyunwoo couldn’t tell which sections were from different takes - it was all one seamless song.

“Do you like it?” Hoseok asked when it was finished.

“I do, but doesn’t it matter more whether  _ you _ like it?” Hyunwoo asked.

“I think it’s perfect.” Hoseok smiled at him. Then he yawned. “It’s so late. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault I’m slow at learning harmonies.”

“Do you just want to sleep here?” Hoseok asked.

Hyunwoo’s heart skipped a beat. “I can walk home -”

“It’s not safe, this late.”

As if Hyunwoo had never stayed out this late before, stumbled home from a noraebang tipsy after hanging out with his high school friends. As if Hyunwoo had never gone into battle against life-sucking technologically-superior aliens before.

“Stay,” Hoseok insisted.

Hyunwoo said, “All right.”

Hyunwoo tried not to read too much into the fact that Hoseok had a brand new spare toothbrush for him to use, just brushed his teeth and skimmed down to his boxer and t-shirt, and then he lay down on Hoseok’s mattress and did his best to stick to his half.

Of course, Hyunwoo had been crammed into a tent with his teammates offworld dozens of times, and he was sure Hoseok had been crammed into the barracks with his squadron during his enlistment, so the two of them sleeping side-by-side like this didn’t mean anything besides sleeping. All seven of them had fallen asleep on each other at one time or another, because they were all working long and hard to get through university and make their families proud, and between jobs and classes, sleep was a precious commodity.

Still, Hyunwoo lay awake and stared at the ceiling and listened to Hoseok’s breathing. He dropped off to sleep immediately, the way so many experienced soldiers did. Hyunwoo could usually do that, but - he could sense Hoseok’s warmth.

No. He had to close his eyes and sleep. He needed all the sleep he could get.

So he forced himself to breathe deeply, focus on his breath, counting each in and out like Teyla had taught him till he could relax, till he stopped thinking about the softness of Hoseok’s skin and the gleam of his eyes and his smile and drifted off into dreams.

*

_ “No! Let me go!” _

Hyunwoo came awake, heart pounding. Distress. He had to respond. He reached for his weapon and his radio.

And then he realized he was in an unfamiliar room and someone was thrashing beside him.

Hoseok.

_ “Stop! Don’t!” _

Hoseok barked out in his best imitation of Colonel Lorne, except in Korean, “Attention!”

Hoseok snapped awake. He sat bolt upright, hands raised to defend himself, chest heaving.

Then he blinked, muzzy and confused.

“Hey,” Hyunwoo said gently. “You were having a nightmare.”

Hoseok turned to him, and his eyes were wide. He still looked panicked.

Hyunwoo didn’t even think, just pulled Hoseok into his arms and held him tightly, rocked him.

Hoseok clung to him, still breathing hard, panting and gasping and maybe sobbing a little.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Hyunwoo said. “I’m here.”

Hoseok nodded against his shoulder and hung onto him. Hyunwoo continued rocking him and patting his back till his breathing evened out.

Finally Hoseok pulled back, scrubbed a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry.” He wouldn’t meet Hyunwoo’s eyes.

“Don’t be. You were there for me when I had a nightmare.” Hyunwoo ducked his head, tried to catch Hoseok’s gaze, smiled tentatively.

Hoseok scrubbed at his face some more. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Hyunwoo asked.

Hoseok shook his head.

Hyunwoo glanced at his watch. It was almost four in the morning. “Want to go to the gym and lift some weights?”

Hoseok nodded.

“All right. Can we stop by my dorm for some clean clothes?”

Hoseok pushed himself to his feet, and that was answer enough.

Hoseok pulled on workout clothes and stuffed clean clothes for the day into his gym bag, and they stepped by Hyunwoo’s dorm for him to do the same.

The gym was pretty much deserted except for by the other people who were as dedicated to weightlifting as Hoseok was. Hyunwoo was wary, because Hoseok had been completely silent as they’d crossed campus, his gaze hollow and haunted, and he seemed to be moving on autopilot as they warmed up and stretched out.

But once it was time to lift, he came to life, talking Hyunwoo through his workout, how he liked to structure reps and rests and weight increases and decreases to maximize his time and effort. A lot of it was information Hyunwoo knew for himself, having spent time with Marines on Atlantis, or from Hoseok himself from workouts previous, but he nodded and listened and did his best to stay present and engaged.

The further they got into their workout, the calmer Hoseok looked, and Hyunwoo was pleased with himself for the suggestion. By the time the workout was done, Hoseok looked like his normal self.

“What now?” Hyunwoo asked. 

“We shower, and then - food. I know a really good ramyeun place nearby.”

It would be cheaper for Hyunwoo to cook for them, but if Hoseok wanted to indulge a bit, Hyunwoo wasn’t going to say no.

“All right.” 

They hit the showers, scrubbing up fast and pulling on clean clothes, and then they headed back to their dorms to drop off their gym bags before going to the ramyeun restaurant. Hyunwoo kept looking at Hoseok sidelong, seeing if he was all right. If he hadn’t been present for Hoseok’s terrible wake-up in the dark hours of the morning, he’d have assumed Hoseok was perfectly fine.

He wondered what Hoseok had dreamed of, thought of what Hoseok had told him about those burn scars he had. Hyunwoo would never push Hoseok to share the details of such a painful memory.

“I think those people are talking to you,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo blinked. “What? Where?”

Hoseok pointed to two women and two men.

One of the men - foreign, towering over everyone around him - grinned and waved. Captain Winchester. Sam.

The second man - also foreign, shorter, bright dark eyes - cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Hey, Hallyu!” Captain Nealson. Jon.

“They can’t say your name right,” Hoseok said.

“No - it was their nickname for me.” Hyunwoo couldn’t believe his eyes. He wasn’t used to seeing his teammates out of uniform. Well, he wasn’t used to seeing them out of uniform  _ on Earth. _

It was tiny Dr. McAllister - Freya - who dashed toward him and threw her arms around him. “Hallyu!”

Major Satterfield hung back, but she was smiling.

Hyunwoo hugged Freya back, confused but pleased and nervous all at once.

“You look so good!” Freya pulled back and looked Hyunwoo up and down.

“Thank you. So do you.” It was true. Hyunwoo hadn’t seen his entire team since he’d been sent back to Earth for his medical discharge. Only Major Satterfield had seen him on Earth while he was doing his recovery and PT and lengthy debrief at the SGC.

“What are you all doing here?” Hyunwoo asked, because why would an entire Atlantis gate team be on Earth?

Sam said, “Obviously we’re here to visit you.”

“Obviously,” Jon echoed, deadpan.

Freya peered past Hyunwoo at Hoseok. “Who’s this with you?

“Ah, this is a classmate of mine,” he said. “Shin Hoseok.” To Hoseok he added, “These are people I used to serve with.”

Hoseok furrowed his brow, and Hyunwoo realized he had to automatically switched to English for his old teammates, had to switch back to Korean.

He made introductions, and Hoseok bowed politely.

“Wow,” Satterfield said. “I’ve never heard you speak so much Korean in one shot. I have so far to go.”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve used so much English,” Hyunwoo admitted.

“Well, you still sound great,” Sam said.

Satterfield smiled at Hyunwoo, and he inclined his head politely in lieu of a formal salute, as was the way of things on Atlantis.

“As much as we were all very excited to come visit you,” Satterfield  said, “we’re actually here in Seoul on official business. But we wanted to connect in person. Dinner tonight?”

Hyunwoo nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

“I’m buying,” Satterfield said. “But you’ll have to pick the restaurant.” She handed him a business card. Her cellphone number was on the back.

“I know places to get excellent beef,” Hyunwoo said.

Jon said fervently, “Awesome.”

“Send coordinates, and we’ll send a time,” Sam said.

Hyunwoo nodded. “Roger that.”

Freya hugged him again. “I’d say bring your cute friend, but if he doesn’t speak English he’d get bored fast.” She smiled at Hoseok.

Hoseok bowed politely again, expression hesitant.

Sam and Jon shook hands with Hyunwoo, and then he bade his teammates farewell.

“Your fellow servicemen and women seem very nice,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo watched them go, how they still moved smoothly as a unit, even if it was down a busy campus thoroughfare in Seoul instead of across an alien planet in the Pegasus Galaxy.

“I trust them with my life,” he said.

Hoseok’s expression darkened. “It’s good that you have that with them. I had that with Minhyuk and Kihyun, but - none of the other men, save our CO.”   
  
Hyunwoo remembered how Hoseok had had such terrible nightmares, why they’d gone to the gym so early in the first place. “Let’s go get that ramyeun.”

At the ramyeun restaurant, the hostess knew Hoseok well. She greeted him warmly, showed them to a good table and brought them each a Pepsi on the house.

“You must come here often,” Hyunwoo said.

Hoseok leaned in, lowered his voice. “This restaurant has the best ramyeun in all of   
Korea.”

Hyunwoo arched his eyebrows, amused. “Have you been to every ramyeun restaurant in Korea?”

“Madam Choi has won awards,” Hoseok said. “She owns a very fancy ramyeun restaurant in Gangnam, very expensive. But the best ramyeun is here. I’ve tried both.”

Hyunwoo said, also leaning in and keeping his voice low, “Your secret is safe with me.”

Hoseok smiled. “I knew I could trust you. So, you’re having dinner with your old comrades tonight? I understood that much.”

“I am. I’ll probably take them to a beef restaurant.”

“That one woman - Freya? Was she your girlfriend?”

“No,” Hyunwoo said. “She has a boyfriend back in America. She thinks you’re handsome, though.”

“Well I do work out.” Hoseok flexed his biceps and preened.

“You are better-looking than her boyfriend,” Hyunwoo said. “At least from what I’ve seen of pictures of him.”

“You think I’m handsome too?” Hoseok raised his eyebrows.

All of Hyunwoo’s new friends were very handsome, each in their own way far more handsome than him.

Before Hyunuoo could answer, Madam Choi  arrived with two steaming bowls of ramyeun.

Hoseok hadn’t been kidding. The ramyeun was amazing - better than what Hyunwoo’s mother made, though he’d never tell her that. While they ate, they talked. Hoseok talked about how his mother ran a cafe, that he’d worked at it while he was in high school, so he made pretty awesome coffees and lattes.

“Sometime we should go visit her, get some good coffee,” Hoseok said.

The thought of meeting any of Hoseok’s family made Hyunwoo nervous. Would they be able to tell how Hyunwoo felt about Hoseok? 

“Did you work at her cafe during Chuseok?”

“A little bit, before it closed for the holiday.” Hoseok smiled fondly.

When the meal was over, they left Madam Choi a generous tip, and then they headed back to the dorms. Both of them had studying to do, and of course Hyunwoo had to work on his knitting project - and figure out where he was meeting his old teammates for dinner.

“Have you chosen your lace accessories for Minhyuk and Kihyun’s project?” Hoseok asked.

Hyunwoo shook his head. “I have no clue what to wear.”

“Look on Minyuk’s Etsy store. I’m sure you’ll find something you like.”

Hyunwoo glanced at Hoseok. “Do you know what you plan on wearing?”

Hoseok smiled coyly. “Whatever makes me the prettiest.”

They were almost back to Hoseok’s dorm when a man called out,

“Shin Hoseok!”

Hoseok spun, shoulders tense.

Hyunwoo turned as well, wary. Three men strode toward them. They looked to be about the same age as Hyunwoo and Hoseok. 

“It  _ is _ you,” the man in the middle said.

Hyunwoo glanced at Hoseok, saw his shoulders tighten, saw a muscle in his jaw twitch, but then he smiled, as polite and pleasant as ever. 

“Choi Seungcheol, Kwon Soonyoung, Lee Seokmin.” 

Hyunwoo didn’t recognize their names; Hoseok had never spoken of them before. 

“So you remember us,” Seungcheol said.

Hyunwoo saw the way Hoseok pressed a hand to his side, where his scars were. His smile remained entirely pleasant.

“Couldn’t forget you.”

Seungcheol lifted his head at Hyunwoo. “Who’s this?”

Hoseok made formal introductions. “This is my hyung, Son Hyunwoo. He served longer than I did, so he’s my hoobae.”

Hyunwoo bowed.

“We work out at the gym together,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo didn’t like the way Seungcheol looked up him up down. He curled his hands into fists. But he said, “Pleased to meet you,” because he’d been raised well.

Seungcheol said, “I hear you’re seeing a model. I’ve seen pictures of you. But then there are lots of pictures of you on the internet, from your ulzzang days.”

Hoseok shrugged, expression demure. “I do some modeling sometimes, for extra money.”

“The model you’re with is very pretty.”

That was absolutely true. 

“She’s also very nice,” Hoseok added, which was also true, but something about the way he said it made Hyunwoo’s chest tighten. He’d heard that kind of implication about a girl before, not just that she was kind and polite but that she was nice  _ in bed. _

“I’ll bet,” Seungcheol said, and the tension in his expression dissolved.

His two friends laughed and smiled.

Seungcheol asked Hoseok how things were going in school for him, and their conversation sounded totally cordial, Hoseok inquiring and Seungcheol and his friends’ studies, and finally they parted ways, all of them citing the need to study and work.

Hyunwoo followed Hoseok back toward his dorm. He glanced over his shoulder at Seungcheol and his companions, wary of a sucker punch.

“You all right?” he asked Hoseok.

“Fine,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo cleared his throat. “You think Sobong is nice?”

“Nice enough,” Hoseok said.

“Are you dating her?”

“I am online.” Hoseok smiled wryly.

They reached his door.

“Thanks for everything,” Hoseok said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” Hyunwoo echoed. He watched Hoseok go into his dorm, and then he headed back to his own dorm, head spinning all the while.

Were Hoseok and Sobong actually dating? She was very nice and sweet.

Hyunwoo couldn’t resist one glance over his shoulder at Hoseok’s door, but of course Hoseok was not looking back at him.

No matter.

He had studies to do, and work to do, like making boyfriend sweaters for someone else.

*

Hyunwoo met his old teammates at a nice Korean restaurant he could afford to splurge on for the five of them. It was still kind of jarring to see them in casual clothes. He’d put on nicer clothes - and texted the others, to let them know he would be having dinner and spending the evening with some of his old friends from his time in service. The others - all except Hoseok - responded with smiley emoticons and encouragement, telling him to have fun, maybe send some pictures.

Hyunwoo was surprised when he received a text message from Sobong, also wishing him fun times.

That she sent him a selfie with Hoseok beside her made his heart plummet into his shoes. They were both holding iced lattes topped with whipped cream and grinning at the camera.

Hyunwoo set his phone to  _ do not disturb _ and smoothed down his shirt, then stepped into the restaurant to see his old friends.

They were clustered just inside the door. Satterfield was trying her very careful Korean on the hostess, but she looked relieved when Hyunwoo stepped in and confirmed the reservation. They had a spacious table in the back. Hyunwoo started everyone with a round of soju, and they made a toast - to teammates - and it was time to catch up.

Hyunwoo wasn’t sure if he was flattered or disappointed, that Colonel Lorne hadn’t ordered Satterfield to replace him on the team. Four-member gate teams were standard on Earth, but on Atlantis things had always been a bit more flexible, and five-member teams were common. It was easy to fall into speaking just English, and into the careful jargon they’d constructed so they wouldn’t violate the massive, heavy-handed NDAs they’d all signed when they’d joined the SGC. Gate teams were  _ away teams, _ Atlantis was  _ The Base, _ the Wraith were  _ Enemy C  _ (Enemy A being the Goa’uld and Enemy B being the Replicators and enemy D being the Ori), and Ancient tech was  _ Tech. _

Jon was working on his next promotion, as was Sam. Freya was working on a second doctorate, because why not? Jon still wasn’t seeing anyone, and the others joked that he was a monk. 

“What about you, Hallyu?” Jon asked. “You seeing anyone? Seen plenty of fine young people on campus.”

“No,” Hyunwoo said, shaking his head. “I work and I study. I don’t have much time.”

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” Freya sang.

“There are ways to play that don’t involve dating,” Jon protested.

“I have friends here,” Hyunwoo said. “We spend time together, eat together.”

“How are you keeping busy outside of school and work?” Satterfield asked. 

“I knit,” Hyunwoo said.

Jon raised his eyebrows. “You knit? Since when?”

“Colonel Mitchell taught me, when I was recovering.”

Jon winced. Sam and Satterfield looked sympathetic.

Freya waggled her eyebrows. “What do you make?”

Hyunwoo unlocked his phone, showed her Minhyuk’s Etsy store gallery on Instagram. 

“My friend makes lace. I make the sweaters and hats and scarves and gloves.”

Freya’s eyes went wide. “Wow! You’re so good.”

“Lots of practice,” Hyunwoo said modestly.

The others crowded around to see. 

Jon whistled appreciatively. “Wow. You  _ are _ good. My mom and grandma could knit stuff like that.”

“Think Colonel Mitchell can make that kind of stuff?” Sam asked.

Satterfield looked at Hyunwoo. “You can make things like this already? It hasn’t been that long.”

“I knit a lot,” Hyunwoo admitted. “And once Colonel Mitchell taught me the basics, the rest was - engineering.”

Jon eyed him speculatively. “Engineering, you say?”

Hyunwoo nodded.

Freya swiped through the pictures. “Oh hey, this model - he’s your friend from earlier, right? His girlfriend is very pretty.”

Hyunwoo said, “She is also a model.” He resisted the urge to insist that Sobong wasn’t Hoseok’s girlfriend. 

“How can you afford models?” Satterfield asked.

“Well, they’re just students,” Hyunwoo said. 

“I like the lace accessories,” Freya said.

“My friend, Minhyuk - he makes lace. Our other friends are his models,” Hyunwoo explained.

“Wow.” Freya handed his phone back. “I am impressed. How are your studies going?”

“Yeah,” Sam said. “How soon till you’re back on the front lines with us?”

Hyunwoo ducked his head, blushing. “I am only in my first year. I will have to get at least my masters degree before they read me back in, yes?”

“Or you could get your masters  _ with _ the program,” Satterfield said. “Like Major Hailey did.”

The others nodded, smiling at him hopefully.

“I hope to be back soon,” Hyunwoo said. “As soon as I can.”

Satterfield patted his shoulder. “We’re here to help you however we can. Starting with always practicing your English. But first - help me with my Korean!” She lifted her cup of soju.

Hyunwoo lifted his cup as well and said,  _ “Geonbae!” _

*

Gearing up for the big photoshoot for Hoseok’s album project was less like a fashion show and more like military maneuvers. Kihyun, Minhyuk, and Hoseok had all been in the Army together, had served in low-level infantry posts, but Hyunwoo had no doubt that, given the chance, Kihyun would make a fine field-grade officer. He marshaled supplies for the photo shoot the same way Colonel Lorne would marshal supplies for offworld teams: make-up, costumes, accessories, props, all laid out in neat order to ensure efficient costume changes and set changes.

Sobong and some of the other girls came to help out, because they were all friends now, and she was kind. Sobong, as it turned out, was interested in martial arts, had had an amateur MMA career while she was a teenager, and she had a lot in common with Hoseok, who of course still loved taekwondo.

“It’s good to see Hoseok making new friends,” Kihyun said sagely, watching out of the corner of his eye while Hoseok and Sobong laughed together as they arranged long tables to hold everyone’s costumes.

“Good,” Hyunwoo agreed flatly. He saw the way Hoseok’s face lit up when he laughed, how everything Sobong said made him smile.

“Are they dating?” Minhyuk asked.

“They look like they are,” Hyungwon said. He added, “They look like those sweater pictures they posed for are true to life.”

He smiled, seemed pleased. Hyunwoo was not at all pleased. Minhyuk cast him a look, and Hyunwoo avoided his gaze. He didn’t want to cause trouble for anyone, least of all Hoseok and Sobong. They were both good models for him, and he appreciated it, and if Hoseok was happy - he wanted Hoseok to be happy.

Hyunwoo had never appreciated how difficult it was to be a model, to hold still and get his makeup done - and then to pose and affect expressions that Kihyun wanted. Half the time he wasn’t sure he looked right at all, was trying to narrow his eyes or raise his eyebrows or pout his lips or do  _ something _ to convey the emotion Kihyun wanted from him, and most of the time he felt like an idiot, but Kihyun would say  _ That’s perfect, keep giving me that, _ and snap a bunch of pictures. In addition, Hyunwoo had to do his best not to be distracted by everything that was going on beyond the range of the camera - Sobong and the other girls doing makeup on the other boys, sorting props, decorating sets, moving the lights. Kihyun was like a symphony conductor, keeping all the madness going forward at a steady pace, so as soon as he was done with one boy, he could move onto the next with no delay. Having two sets going at the same time was helpful - while one was being used, the other was being decorated or redecorated.

Since Kihyun was also part of Hoseok’s musical project, he had to be part of the photoshoot. Hoseok was apparently the second-best photographer in the group, and Kihyun trusted him to get good solo shots when it was Kihyun’s turn in front of the camera. For the group shots, Kihyun used the timer on his phone to control the camera.

Through it all, in the background, Hoseok was smiling and sweet to Sobong, helping her lift and move things, fetching her drinks. She was smiling and laughing with him.

Hyunwoo did his best to distract himself from them by sending emails to his former teammates - who were all emailing as frequently as they could, given the weekly databurst schedule on Atlantis - and his language learning partners. If he seemed a little more absorbed in his phone than usual, well, he was trying to stay out of everyone’s way and not disrupt the photo shoot.

So he was surprised when Minhyuk sat down beside him.

“Are you all right?”

Hyunwoo raised his eyebrows. “Me? I’m fine.”

“You seem - quieter tonight,” Minhyuk said.

“I’m emailing friends,” Hyunwoo said. “Some of my friends from my service days were in town recently, and we spent time together, and we’re emailing each other more.”

Minhyuk peered over his shoulder at his phone. Since Hyunwoo’s old teammates knew better than to put classified information in emails, he didn’t bother to hide his phone screen, if Minhyuk could even read English as fast as Hyunwoo and Changkyun.

“That’s nice,” Minyhuk said, though he sounded skeptical. “How are your projects coming along? I’m finally all caught up on my lace commissions. Had to do a lot of bobbin lace this time around.”

Hyunwoo smiled at him. “I’m glad you’re caught up. How are your hands?”

“Not the best,” Minhyuk admitted. He nudged Hyunwoo. “Your knitting?”

“I’m almost done with my first sweater commission.” Hyunwoo was pretty close to the end. He needed to reach out to the buyer and get some final details set before he finished them completely and shipped them out - would he send both to the buyer or one to the buyer and the other to his boyfriend?

Minhyuk nudged him again, smiled brighter. “That’s good! You should see if the buyer is willing to send you a picture of them in the sweater so you can see how it turns out.”

“That would be nice,” Hyunwoo said. “Just to see.”

As if seeing someone else happy with his cute boyfriend would make him feel better. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Sobong laughing at something Hoseok had said; Hoseok’s smile was radiant. 

Once the photo shoot was finished, Kihyun excused Sobong and the other girls, thanking them for their help.

“The rest of us can do our own cleanup,” he said.

Jooheon said, “Hoseok, if you and Sobong want to -”

“Hoseok, I need your manly muscles,” Minhyuk said, wavering beneath far too many floodlights for one person to carry.

Kihyun scolded him, but Hoseok was already there, steadying him, Hyunwoo on the other side of Minhyuk to help, because helping was reflexive.

“You all right?” Hoseok asked.

Minhyuk started to reply, but Hyunwoo said, “Go, I’ve got this.”

Hoseok looked confused. “But -”

“Spend some time with Sobong,” Hyunwoo said.

Hoseok stared at him, then glanced at Minhyuk. Something unreadable passed between them, and Hoseok stepped back. 

“All right. Have a good night.” He bade his farewells to Kihyun, who thanked him for his photography assistance.

Changkyun stepped up to help Minhyuk and Hyunwoo with the lights. The six of them worked well into the night, shuttling supplies back to their respective dorm rooms, and by the time it was done, Hyunwoo tumbled into bed in an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

If he dreamed, he knew it would be of Hoseok, and he wasn’t sure he could handle that.

*

All of them were gearing up for their final exams, and they had less and less time to spend socializing with each other, studying hard for their individual classes. Hyunwoo ended up studying with Hyungwon a lot, because they had some language classes in common. Changkyun studied with them too, because he was so good at English. Sometimes Hoseok helped, with his Japanese and French, but for the most part, it was Hyungwon and Hyunwoo together, bent over their dictionaries and notes, murmuring to each other.

Hyunwoo increased the frequency of emails to his teammates, and even sent some postcards, because writing in English was not the same as typing in English. They spent a lot of time in Hyungwon’s dorm room, American R&B and soul and hip-hop playing in the background while they worked. When Hyunwoo wasn’t studying with Hyungwon (and missing his team and missing Hoseok more) he was with Minhyuk, who was working on Christmas commissions, knitting furiously and also working on engineering patterns.

“Don’t your hands ever get sore?” Hyungwon asked one night, while Hyunwoo took a break from studying to work on the boyfriend sweater project.

“No,” Hyunwoo said. “That’s why I like it. It’s soothing.”

“More productive than video games,” Hyungwon said with a pointed look at Changkyun, who’d been known to have all-night video game marathons with Minhyuk or, worse, by himself (Kihyun claimed he’d walked in on Changkyun playing in the buff, but Changkyun would neither confirm nor deny).

Hyunwoo would be done with the sweaters just in time to really buckle down and do the last of the hard studying for finals. He’d reached out to Wontokki to find out about where to send the sweaters, but he hadn’t had a response yet.

Once they were done studying for the night, Hyunwoo walked Changkyun back to his dorm, because he was their maknae, and also he had no military training.

“I’m not a child,” Changkyun said, in English.

Hyunwoo shrugged. “My mother raised me to be polite. I was trained to protect my men.” He answered in English, because why not?

Changkyun hitched his backpack higher on his shoulder. “We are your men, aren’t we? I mean, Kihyun bosses us around, but you’re the one who makes us food and helps us stay organized. I mean, we hung out, here and there, before you came along, but now - now we’re a team.”

Hyunwoo glanced at him. “You think so?”

Changkyun nodded. “I think you’d want something different with Hoseok though, wouldn’t you?”

Hyunwoo always thought slower in English, was unable to manage a polite excuse or explanation. “What?” He came up short. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Changkyun said, turning to face Hyunwoo. “But I’ve seen how you look at him. And how sad you are now that he’s spending time with Sobong.”

“I’m not sad,” Hyunwoo said reflexively, because he’d spent a lot of time around Marines. “I’m happy for him if he’s happy with Sobong. I want him to be happy.”

“Spoken like a man in love,” Changkyun said with lofty wisdom. 

Hyunwoo looked at him for a long moment. 

Changkyun’s expression was carefully neutral, though the light in his eyes was almost...hopeful?

Hyunwoo finally resumed walking, head up, shoulders back. “Don’t tell him, please. I enjoy our friendship and don’t want to lose it. And - don’t tell the others.”

Changkyun fell into step beside him. “I won’t. That’s not my business. But I think if you told them, they wouldn’t care either. I get that I’m the maknae and sometimes think differently, but - we’re a team. We stick together.”

For being the maknae, Changkyun was very wise. 

Hyunwoo said, “Thank you.”

He walked Changkyun back to his dorm, then headed back to his own, thinking about his old team and his new team and which team he wanted to be on and whether having one would mean losing the other, and whether Changkyun was right, that he could tell Minhyuk and the others how he felt about Hoseok. 

Over the next few days, Hyunwoo continued to mull over the issue, while he studied and finished the sweaters and waited to hear from Wontokki about where to have them sent. 

He had resolved to sing his song for the performance portion of his English exam, since it was something he had practiced and his pronunciation was pretty good. He figured it would be different and he would stand out from his classmates and get a good grade, so he practiced as often as he could without risking damage to his voice. 

He noticed Changkyun casting looks at him, sometimes, on the rare occasions the seven of them managed to be together for a coffee or lunch on campus, but true to his word, Changkyun said nothing. Hyunwoo glanced at the others sometimes, wondering if Changkyun was right, if they would understand how he felt about Hoseok. Judging by the way Minhyuk looked at him sometimes, when he forgot himself and stared at Hoseok, maybe Minhyuk would understand. And sometimes, Hyunwoo wondered about the way Minhyuk often stayed close to Jooheon, talked to him and teased him, if Minhyuk would understand him best.

Hyunwoo did his best not to obsess about how often he saw pictures of Hoseok and Sobong together on Instagram, especially given that Hoseok often missed their “team” lunches and coffee breaks.

So he was very surprised when he stepped out of English class one day and Hoseok was waiting for him. 

“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you. Come on.”

Hyunwoo blinked at him. “This is where I always am on a Thursday at this time,” he said, a little bewildered. “If you’d called or texted I would have -”

“No time.” Hoseok caught Hyunwoo by the wrist and dragged him down the hall. “Come on.”

Hyunwoo followed helplessly as Hoseok led him through the crowds of students thronging the halls between classes, down a narrow annex to a building Hyunwoo had never been to before. They turned a sharp corner and Hoseok opened the door - and the other five were standing around on a stage, waiting, while several people Hyunwoo didn’t recognize were huddled together and eyeing them warily. 

“This is all of us,” Hoseok said, letting go of Hyunwoo’s wrist. “I’m ready.”

The girl who was the leader of the other group cast him an annoyed look but nodded. She spoke to the rest of her group, and they filed out. 

“Okay,” Hoseok said, going over to where his laptop was plugged in on the edge of the small stage. “This is our one chance to have a thorough rehearsal. Let’s do this!”

A singing rehearsal, Hyunwoo realized. He hopped up onto the stage with the others, found himself standing beside Changkyun and Minhyuk. Kihyun insisted on warm-ups. He had perfect pitch, so he led the warm-ups while Hoseok made the final adjustments on his laptop, connecting it to the sound system in the small performance studio. 

Kihyun declared them warmed up, and Hoseok took charge. He reviewed the line-up with them, Kihyun’s solo first, Hoseok’s last, and then the group number. 

Hyunwoo’s solo was right before Hoseok’s, so Hoseok wouldn’t really see him perform, as he would need to be preparing for his own. That was probably for the best. Hoseok staring at Hyunwoo while he sang would make him so nervous. 

Kihyun said, virtuously, “Practice makes performance. Sing like it’s the real thing, with all your heart.”

With all my heart, Hyunwoo thought. He glanced at Hoseok and followed the others off the stage so Kihyun could have center stage, and he figured this was practice, no one would take it too seriously (except maybe Kihyun), and this was his one chance to tell Hoseok how he felt. Or at least sing it. And no one would notice. 

He barely paid attention while the others sang, lost in his own head and reviewing the lyrics over and over again. He should have been listening when Hoseok gave the others feedback, should have listened to the others as well because they were his friends and good singers and he liked them. Instead he watched how Hoseok bent over his laptop, expression intent, checking sound levels and making sure things were at their best. Hoseok probably wouldn’t even be looking at Hyunwoo while he sang. Kihyun was right. Hyunwoo should give it his all. After all, he was willing to give all of himself to Hoseok even knowing Hoseok would never give him anything in response. 

Hyunwoo should have paid more attention to Jooheon and Changkyun when they did their rap performances. Minhyuk, Kihyun, and Hyungwon really got into them, cheering along and clapping, raising their hands and waving in unison. 

After the second rap performance, Changkyun hopped off the stage, and he clapped Hyunwoo on the shoulder. 

“What did you think?” he asked in English, of a kindness since Hyunwoo would be singing in English. 

Hyunwoo blinked at him. “Ah, you’re very good.”

The look Changkyun cast him was irritatingly knowing, but not unkind. He glanced over at Hoseok, who was fiddling intently with his laptop.

“Get ready,” Changkyun said in a low voice, still in English. “Give it all you’ve got.” Then he headed over to Hoseok and his laptop for more feedback. 

The other five cheered and clapped and shouted  _ Fighting! _ as Hyunwoo hopped up onto the stage. He adjusted the microphone for his height, and then he took several deep breaths, remembering his old singing lessons, finding his good posture. 

Hoseok didn’t even look up from his laptop when he flashed Hyunwoo a thumbs and said, “Cueing your music now.”

It was better that Hoseok wasn’t looking at Hyunwoo, because he was going to do it. He was going to give all of himself to Hoseok in this one song, and then it would be done, he’d have admitted the painful truth, and maybe he could move on.

As soon as the starting measure hit, Hyunwoo opened up and sang, sang all of his longing and frustration and hope and, above all else, love. The others cheered and egged him on, Jooheon shouting encouragement about how the ladies would love his performance, Kihyun praising his voice. Changkyun met his gaze, nodded.

Hoseok barely glanced up long enough to make eye contact.

Hyunwoo closed his eyes on the final chorus.

_ You’re my end and my beginning _

_ Even when I lose I’m winning _

_ ’Cause I give you all of me _

_ And you give me all of you _

The music faded, and Hyunwoo opened his eyes, let his friends’ cheers and applause wash over him. He took a bow, just as he’d been taught in singing lessons all those years ago, and he straightened up.

Hoseok was looking right at him, expression unreadable.

Hyunwoo’s heart jumped into his throat.

But then Hoseok smiled, flashed him two thumbs up. “Excellent! That sounded so good. You are such a talented singer. I will get the best grade.”

“I’m glad,” Hyunwoo said, and climbed off the stage. He accepted pats on the back from others, and then Hoseok was taking the stage, trusting Hyungwon to manage the sound for him.

The final number was, of course, their group number. Hyunwoo performed it on autopilot, including the simple choreography that Hyungwon and Hoseok had come up with together. Hoseok declared them ready to perform - and then that group of strangers from before was back, demanding their time to use the practice room.

“We should go out for soju, to celebrate,” Minhyuk said, slinging an arm around Jooheon’s shoulders.

Hoseok was nodding for once, but Hyunwoo said, “I’m sorry, I’m really close to finishing my knitting commission, and I have to get it sent out on time.”

“I understand,” Kihyun said, nodding virtuously.

It was a traitorous Changkyun who said, “I thought you said it was almost done.”

“Almost doesn’t count,” Hyunwoo said. “I’ll leave first. See you later!” And he ducked out of the practice room before the others could lodge further protest. He’d done what he needed to do, and now he needed some distance.

When he got back to his dorm room, he found his knitting project bag, and then his phone buzzed. Incoming emails from his teammates.

He set his phone aside and fired up his laptop so he could type responses to more efficiently.

_ I really hope you’re doing more than studying, working, and knitting, _ Freya had written.  _ You need to get out and make friends. Or at least spend more time with the (very pretty) friends that you have. _

Hyunwoo stared at her message for a long while before he composed a reply.

_ I spend lots of time with my friends, don’t worry. Besides, you’re all my friends, and I get plenty of virtual time with you.  _

He knew that was kind of a pathetic response, but it was the best he had. 

He went to shut his laptop and pick up his knitting, but his phone buzzed again. New alert. From Etsy. Wontokki had finally responded to him with delivery instructions.  

Hyunwoo read the message a couple of times. He hadn’t expected that at all. 

_ Dear Hyunwoo, I am actually a student at the same university as you. I am willing to pick up the sweaters in person if you don’t mind. We can meet in a public place.  _

Delivering the sweaters in person would definitely save both of them money and effort, and Hyunwoo was pretty sure that he could hold his own against, well, just about anyone who hadn’t served in any kind of special forces, so long as no running was involved. Somehow he doubted that the person who’d ordered custom-made boyfriend sweaters wished him any harm.

So he responded,  _ I don’t mind at all. Let me know a time and place that works for you and we can work something out. _

*

If Hyunwoo seemed like he was avoiding the rest of his friends that week, he sort of was. Finals were in two weeks and they all had lots of things they needed to be working on, and they would be together the night of Hoseok’s showcase performance anyway. Because Hoseok’s was the longest, they would be going last, as a courtesy, and Hyunwoo didn’t mind. If the show ran late enough, he could probably beg off any kind of post-performance celebration, citing tiredness.

And he was tired.

All the time.

He emailed his teammates and other SGC colleagues whenever he could, and their responses were quicker than ever, but the nightmares came almost every night. If he wanted to be free of the nightmares, would he have to give up the SGC altogether? It wasn’t like he could talk to any of the counselors on campus - or even anyone outside the SGC about what was going on.

Could he? If he just spoke in vague terms, maybe.

He was at the gym working out one morning - by himself, he hadn’t worked out with Hoseok in a couple of weeks - when his phone buzzed. Once he was done with his reps he set down the weights, checked his phone.

A message from Wontokki. Student union at lunch today. Could he meet?

Not a problem. The finished sweaters had been wrapped in tissue paper and packed in separate boxes for a while now. Hyunwoo fired off a confirmation, and then it was off to classes.

At lunch, he headed for the student union, ordered some gimbap, and set the boxes on the edge of the table for Wontokki to see, like a prearranged signal for a blind date. Hyunwoo reviewed language vocab flashcards while he ate.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever,” Hoseok said, and sat down opposite him.

Hyunwoo looked up, startled. “Oh! Hello. I have been busy studying for finals.” He waved his stack of cards. “But I will see you Friday night, of course.”

Hoseok had his own lunch. “Yes, busy studying.” His expression was opaque. He nudged the boxes. “What are these?”

“My finished knitting commission. The buyer is a student here and wanted to pick them up in person.” Hyunwoo tried for a smile. He had missed Hoseok despite everything.

Hoseok nodded. “That’s nice. Very smart - saves time and effort. You have fans on campus?”

“Probably  _ you _ have fans on campus,” Hyunwoo said.

“Only because you chose me as your model and let me wear your lovely hand-knitted sweaters.” Hoseok prodded one of the boxes lightly. “Are you going to take pictures of the happy couple in their sweaters, post them to Instagram as satisfied customers?”

“Only if they want it,” Hyunwoo said, because he wasn’t sure a pair of boyfriends would necessarily want their pictures all over an Instagram feed that so many people on campus looked at.

Hoseok nodded again, and his gaze went distant for a moment. Then he said, “The other night, at rehearsal, you sang very well. The best I’ve ever heard you sing.”

Hyunwoo, who’d taken a bite of food to forestall further conversation, swallowed hurriedly. “Thank you. You sang very well yourself. I don’t think I’d heard your solo piece before then.”

Hoseok caught his gaze, held it. “Have you been avoiding me?”

Hyunwoo sat up straighter, startled and wary. He didn’t want to lie to Hoseok, but -

“It seemed like you were avoiding me, and the only way to get you to spend time with me was to arrange a time to meet,” Hoseok said.

“I’m sorry,” Hyunwoo began, and cut himself off when Hoseok scooped up the two boxes.

“I’m very excited for my sweaters, though. I know they’ll fit perfectly and look lovely.”

Hyunwoo stared at him. “You -  _ you _ ordered the sweaters? You’re Wontokki?”

Hoseok nodded, and Hyunwoo’s heart plummeted into his shoes. That meant Hoseok had a boyfriend.

“My ulzzang name was Wonho, and I like rabbits, so - Wontokki.” He shrugged.

“But - you were spending all that time with Sobong. I thought you were dating. Unless...you just became close because you modeled together?” Hyunwoo’s head started to spin. He’d been wrong about Hoseok and Sobong being a couple - but that meant Hoseok had a boyfriend of his own, someone Hyunwoo didn’t know about.

Unless it was one of the others?

Hoseok had done his service with Minhyuk and Kihyun. Kihyun was so proper and polite. Minhyuk had been protective of Hoseok, when it came to the girls in Knitting Club.

Hoseok ducked his head. “I felt - bad, for pretending that Sobong was my girlfriend when I ran into those acquaintances from my enlistment days, so I spent some time with her, to be nice to her. Also there was a boy she didn’t like, and she needed me to pretend to be her boyfriend to make him go away, so -”

“So who’s your boyfriend?” Hyunwoo blurted out, because he’d rather know and get it out of the way than have some kind of unpleasant surprise later.

“I was hoping,” Hoseok said, pushing one of the boxes across the table, “that you would be my boyfriend.”

Hyunwoo’s world stopped for a moment. He stared down at the box, then up at Hoseok, whose expression was solemn but earnest, his eyes bright and dark.

“Me?”

Hoseok sang, softly,  _ “I give you all of me, and you give me all of you.” _

“But -”

“I like you,” Hoseok said.

Hyunwoo swallowed hard.

Hoseok added, “You didn’t notice that one of the sweaters was in your own measurements? I asked you for both of our measurements a while ago.”

Finally Hyunwoo managed, “I like you too.”

Hoseok’s smile was brighter than all the stars in two galaxies.

*

The seven of them assembled backstage half an hour before they were due to perform.

“We need to warm up,” Kihyun said.

Jooheon fired up his phone. He had some warm-up scales in his playlist.

“Let me fix your lace,” Minhyuk said, reaching up and fussing with Hyungwon’s choker. Hyungwon submitted with patience.

Hyunwoo shrugged off his jacket and laid it over a chair in front of one of the dressing tables, then reached out to help Hoseok with his jacket.

“Did you wear what we agreed on?” Kihyun asked, shaking out his shoulders and fixing his posture for warm-ups. He stared. “You’re wearing the same sweater. Why are you wearing the same sweater? You can’t be wearing the same outfit -”

“Yes,” Changkyun said patiently, “they can.”

That brought Kihyun up short. “Oh.  _ Oh.” _

Minhyuk said, a little peevishly, “Took you long enough.” He finished adjusting Hyungwon’s choker, smoothed down his hair absently.

Hoseok ducked his head and blushed.

Hyunwoo eyed him, then Minhyuk. Changkyun cast him a knowing look that was one hundred percent  _ I told you so. _

“Come on, we have to warm up,” Kihyun insisted.

Jooheon waggled his phone. “Ready when you are.”

Once Minhyuk was sure everyone’s accessories were correct, they stood in a line, warmed up their voices together. Jooheon and Changkyun had separate warm-ups for their rap performances, but once all was said and done, they huddled up in a circle, all seven of them.

“Ready?” Minhyuk asked.

They all reached into the circle, hands linked.

Hyunwoo counted them in, and as one they shouted,  _ Fighting! _

Then it was time to hit the stage. They separated and headed for their places - but Hyunwoo hung onto Hoseok’s hand a little longer.

“Give it your all,” Hoseok said.

“All for you,” Hyunwoo answered, and he stepped into the wings. For one moment, it was like standing in the gate room on Atlantis, waiting for the wormhole to establish, waiting for the rush of water and light - and adrenaline.

Hyunwoo glanced over his shoulder to where Hoseok was typing rapidly at his laptop, and he knew that wherever he ended up down the road, the same person would always be home.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to SherlockianSyndromes for her awesome and speedy beta work.
> 
> Songs included are Neol Hada and All of Me by John Legend.


End file.
